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How to Write an Appeal Letter on Academic Dismissal

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How to Write an Appeal Letter on Academic Dismissal
Hi, I was recently dismissed from UC Davis and I was wondering if anyone has the time to read my letter of appeal ASAP and give me some feedback. This is a rough draft.
I really appreciate it.
Thanks.
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Dear Academic Appeals Committee and Admission,

My name is ________, I am currently 19 years old and my major is Aerospace engineering. I am appealing the decision of Associate Dean _______ which requires me to withdraw from the university as stated in her letter dated June 24, 2010. I do not blame anyone but myself for the substantially low GPA I received and I know I did not try to the best of my abilities and skills to overcome the bad habits and emotional struggles on time. Over the course of last year, my grades were significantly affected by my bad studying habits, dorm life and the distance away from home. Fall quarter seemed like it was going to be everything that I had expected of college; parties, late night studying, socializing and independence, but on the contrary, I felt alone, out of place, no motivation and sick. I became ill on the second week of October with the seasonal flu which caused me to miss classes for almost two weeks, and at that point I felt like it was impossible for me to catch up because while trying to catch up on old material I would fall behind on new material. I had a lack of motivation coming from myself because I felt the distance from home was overwhelming since I had never been away from home for more than one week and having to travel to Los Angeles was not a simple task. I felt neither support nor encouragement from anyone surrounding me that at that point I was ready to give up and forget about UC Davis. My parents never attended college and do not clearly understand the trouble and sacrifices that a student must make in order to overcome the difficulties so when I would come to them, they couldn’t really help me. But during winter break I spoke with my former high school

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