Spanking Your Kids: A Bad Way to Discipline

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English 102
Mr. Wilson
28 April 2012
Spanking Your Kids Could Have Serve effects When a child acts out its often that a parent chooses to hit their kid, which may show results in the short term, but in the long term the parent could be doing more harm than good. Spanking your kids is a bad way for parents to discipline their children because it may have some psychological effects on the child. Furthermore, reprimanding your child in this manner also causes the child to be more aggressive and present increase number of defiant behavior. Occasionally, spanking can also escalate into child abuse as well, where the parent is almost beating the child. Instead, parents should educate themselves and use other alternatives when disciplining their kids.
Physical punishment has a negative psychological impact on the child or children. Stephanie Lyon’s article “The Psychological Affects of Spanking Children” presents the idea that when you spank your kid you begin to devalue the parent-child communication, meaning that the child will become less social with their parents. She explains that corporal punishment puts a certain distance between the spanker and the spanked because the child may start to feel afraid of the parent(Lyon). This could be detrimental in home situations where the parent-child relationship may already be strained, such as single parent homes or blended families. Also some children are forgivingly resilient and bounce back without a negative impression on mind or body, for others it hard to love the hand that hits them and will often drive the parent and child farther apart from each other. The child starts to lose trust and begins to see the parent in a different way. Azzarello 2
In Jan Hunt’s compelling article “Ten Reasons Not to hit your Kids “explains the connection between physically punishing a child and lower self. She says the child’s self image begins with how he or she is perceived by others, especially their parents even in the most loving homes, spanking gives a confusing message, especially to a child too young to understand the reason for the whack. The child will begin to feel that their weak and defenseless (Hunt). Jan then describes a mother named Joan, who sincerely believed that spanking was a parental right and obligation needed to turn out obedient child. After several months of spank controlled discipline her toddler became withdrawn. The mother would notice him playing alone in a corner not interested in playing with the other kids and he was also avoiding eye contact from her. She described him as outwardly a “good boy”, but inwardly, Spencer thought of himself as a “bad boy” (Hunt). This is because spanking Spencer made him feel smaller and lesser of other people; therefore, the child began to become withdrawn from activities and began to play by himself. While spanking your child could have psychological effects it may also lead to more aggressive and defiant behavior throughout the child’s childhood and even into their adulthood. Researchers at Tulane University provide strong evidence that children’s short term response to spanking may make them act good, but they will act out more in the long run. They found of the nearly two thousand five hundred youngsters in the study; those who were spanked more frequently at age three were much more likely to aggressive by age five. This study was led by community health-sciences professor Catherine Taylor who controlled the of issues affecting the mother such as, depression, alcohol and drug use, spousal abuse and even whether the mother considered abortion while pregnant with the child. After Catherine was able to control all these factors, each of which can contribute to a child’s aggression. Nothing else remained in the study except spanking as the strong predictor of violent
Azzarello 3 behavior. Taylor found that the odds of a child being more aggressive at age five increased by fifty percent if he or she had been spanked more than twice in the month of the study (Hunt). Another article written by Alice Park called “The Long Term Effects of Spanking” describes a survey among mothers in 20 cites were the children were between 3 and 5 years old, nearly fifty percent reported not spanking their children in the previous month, the other twenty-five percent reported spanking once or twice that month and the last twenty – six percent reported spanking their children more than twice. The children who had been spanked were more likely than the non spanked kids to be defiant, demanded immediate satisfaction of their wants and needs, become frustrated easily, and also reported having temper tantrums and lash out physically against other people or animals (Park). “Spare the Rod” an article written by Alan Kazdin explains why children tend to act more defiant even though their being punished physically. Many parents sometimes say “The more we spank the more he misbehaves.” He says the basis of desirable behavior is a child who feels right acts right (Kazdin). Spanking undermines this principle because a child who is hit feels wrong inside and this shows up in his behavior. In addition the child misbehaves the more he gets spanked and makes the child feel even the worse, therefore the cycle continues.
In the book Henrietta Lacks written by Rebecca Skloot tells the story of a character named Joe Lacks who later in his life changes his name to Zakaryia. Joe was hit as a child by a woman named Ethel. The book describes that she used to beat him bloody the book and that if he cried she would just hit harder. As she gave him beating he stops feeling pain but rage. With this rage he began to show more aggressive behavior, the book describes a time when the police came by the house more than once to tell Day or Ethel to pull Joe off the roof, where he was lying on his stomach shooting strangers on the sidewalk with his BB gun. When the police ask Joe what he was doing up there, he told them that he was
Azzarello 4 practicing to be a sniper (Skloot 112). So from all the beatings Joe grew into the meanest angriest child any Lacks had ever known. This rage also followed him when he got older where he dropped out of school in the seventh grade and ended up in court for “assault by striking.” He then went into the military he was in solitary confinement for fighting and he was later discharge for the military for the inability to adjust emotionally to military life (145). Joe’s bad childhood also led him to kill as well, Joe killed Lee Ivy in a rage after Lee had beaten him up in dispute, after Joe was beaten he then goes home and the next day he grabbed a kitchen knife from Deborah kitchen and went to Lee’s stabbed and killed him after he had gotten off of work (146). Joe became a violent individual because he was spanked and beaten; which turned Joe into an aggressive and violent person.
In the article ten reasons “Not to Hit Your Child” explains why kids like Joe from the Henrietta Lacks act more aggressive. The article also vividly indicates that virtually all of the most dangerous criminals were regularly threatened and punished physically as a child. It says that spanking demonstrates to the child that it’s all right to hit people and especially for big people to hit little people, and stronger people to hit weaker people (Hunt). Thus, children learn through parental modeling, physical punishment gives the message to the child that it’s an appropriate way to express feeling and to solve problems. Those children learn that when you have a problem you solve it with a good swat. So a child whose behavior is controlled by spanking is likely to carry on this mode of interaction into other relationships with siblings and peers and eventually a spouse and offspring.
Spanking a child could also lead the parent to child abuse. Once you begin punishing a child “a little bit, where do you stop? For example, if a toddler reaches for a forbidden glass. You tab the hand as reminder not to touch. He reaches again, you swat his hand. After withdrawing his hand briefly, he once again grabs the glass and the parent hits the hand harder. You then begun a game no one can win
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because the issue then becomes who’s stronger- your child’s will or your hand- not the issue of touching the glass. The article “Ten Reasons Not to Hit Your Kids” explains that the beginning of corporal punishment in the first place is that you may feel you have to bring in the bigger guns: your slap becomes a punch, the switch becomes a belt, the folded newspaper becomes a wooden spoon, and what began as seemingly innocent escalates into child abuse (Hunt). Parents who are programmed to spank their kids spank harder, mainly because they have not learned alternatives and click immediately in a spanking mode when a child misbehaves.
As stated in the previous paragraph some parents only know one way in disciplining their kids and usually they refer to spanking a child. They usually refer to this technique of punishment because were spank by their parents. So these types of parents don’t know other ways of disciplining their children. Parent s needs to educate themselves on other ways to discipline their child to avoid causing psychological damage, more aggressive and defiant behavior. Moreover, so the parent doesn’t almost go from just spanking the child into border line child abuse.
When disciplining a child the parent should first set some clear rules for the child to abide by. The parent should also give the child a fair opportunity to follow your rules by stating the rules clearly and making sure that your child understands them . Be sure to explain to your child why these rules are important. Parents then find that the child will need less discipline because the child will understand why certain behaviors are appropriate or inappropriate. Next, a parent should inform the child that if he or she decides to break the rules there will be certain consequences of misbehavior. This way, the child will learn that his choices and actions bring consequences. The American Academy of child and Adolescent Psychiatry notes that consequences should be reasonable and relate to the rule that is broken. For example, if the rule is “no television before finishing your homework,” the consequence of a
Azzarello 6 child for an infraction might be three day suspension of television privileges. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry suggest that parents should enforce consequences immediately after the child commits an infraction of one the ground rules that the parent has laid out for the child (Livingstrong.com). If there is too much time between the act and the consequence, children fail to associate the consequence with the misbehavior. Moreover, if you wait to execute the consequences, the parent may be more likely to lose their temper and be tempted to yell and spank if the infraction occurs a second time.
One type of punishment a parent could use if a child makes an infraction against the set rules is grounding the child. The parent should try to find something the child considers currency such things are : video games, television, the wii, the pool in the summer, phones, favorite toys and other commodities they feel fond of (Hellister). You could also ground them by making them doing something such as chore for a certain amount of time. Each time that you ground a child you should tell them why they are being grounded. Every time you ground the child you are teaching the child that with good behavior they can earn back their possessions and privileges around the house (Hellister). When you ground your child you’re showing the child that there are consequences to their actions which they will be able to relate to when they get older because in the real work if you do something illegal you will have consequences for your actions such as: jail time, a fine or community service.
Other ways you can punish your kids is by timeouts which usually works on kids who are two to six. It is an extremely common technique that is used anywhere. The parent could place a small chair of their sit in a corner of the room and place them in the chair when they misbehave. The child should be in the chair for as many minutes as they are old. While three minutes may not seem very long, it is a good amount of time for the child to reflect on their behavior and not make the same choice they did
Azzarello 7 before (Hellister). The parent could also allow natural consequences meaning let nature take its course. For example if a child leaves a toy outside and it gets lost or ruined or if the child forgets their lunch, the child goes hungry. Parents could also provide a logical consequence when the natural consequences are too dangerous, such as a child running into the street. You could have the child miss a planned activity (Hellister).
Furthermore the parent should be consistent with the child, once the parent set the rules and consequences; the parent should be also consistent in enforcing them. The article by Barbara Diggs advises parents not to be swayed by crying or pleading on the child’s part, when an infraction occurs. Inconsistent enforcement of consequences on the parent’s part will simply confuse the child or the child won’t take the rules seriously because if the child has no doubt that the parent will enforce the consequences, the child will be more likely not to follow the rules (Livingstrong.com). Last the parent should praise good behavior children should be thanked or otherwise encouraged for good behavior. In Barbara article she states that Dr.Wyckoffa says that you should praise the child’s behavior more than the child himself (Livingstrong.com). For example the parent might say,” That’s really great that you finished your homework before turning on the television. Good job.” This kind of encouragement is a great way of restating the rule and reminding children of your expectations for them.
Understanding other alternatives in disciplining children is essential because spanking a child can have irreversible effects that will follow the child into adult hood. Punishing a child in a civil way will teach a child far more than a smack or swat on the bottom.

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Works Cited
Hellister, B. “5 Ways to Discipline Kid Other than Spanking Them.” Ezinearticles.com. Jan-Feb 2012. Web. 13 April.2012
Hunt, Jan. “Ten Reason Not to Hit Your Kids.” The Natural Child Project, Web. 04 April. 2012
Kazdin, Alan. “Spare the Rod.” Slate.com. Washington Post-Newsweek Interactive, 24 Sept. 2008. Web. 04 April. 2012
Livingstrong.Com. Barbara Diggs. 2011. Web. 13 April 2012
Lyon, Stephanie. “The Psychological Affects of Spanking Children.” Yahoo.com. Stephanie Lyon, 20 July. 2012. Web. 04 April. 2012.
Park Alice. “The Long Term Effects of Spanking.” Time.com. 03 May. 2010. Web. 04 April. 2012.
Skloot, Rebecca. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. New York: Crown Publishing Group, 2010. Print

Cited: Hellister, B. “5 Ways to Discipline Kid Other than Spanking Them.” Ezinearticles.com. Jan-Feb 2012. Web. 13 April.2012 Hunt, Jan. “Ten Reason Not to Hit Your Kids.” The Natural Child Project, Web. 04 April. 2012 Kazdin, Alan. “Spare the Rod.” Slate.com. Washington Post-Newsweek Interactive, 24 Sept. 2008. Web. 04 April. 2012 Livingstrong.Com. Barbara Diggs. 2011. Web. 13 April 2012 Lyon, Stephanie. “The Psychological Affects of Spanking Children.” Yahoo.com. Stephanie Lyon, 20 July. 2012. Web. 04 April. 2012. Park Alice. “The Long Term Effects of Spanking.” Time.com. 03 May. 2010. Web. 04 April. 2012. Skloot, Rebecca. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. New York: Crown Publishing Group, 2010. Print