Rules Of Survival Essay
What originally drew me to The Rules of Survival as my independent assignment is the disturbing subject matter around a mother’s abusive patterns. The book is shown from the perspective of Matt, the oldest, writing a letter to Emmy, the youngest, trying to explain the events of their traumatic upbringing. Throughout the letter he begins to realize it is more for his own understanding and healing. The events that he and his sisters survive—at the hands of their violent and mentally disconnected mother—are both harrowing and incomprehensible.
The question I found myself struggling with throughout the book is directed at their mother, Nikki: What is her perception of the motivation behind her behavior, compared to an outside party’s perception? …show more content…
A mother harming her defenseless six year old child, the very person she is supposed to love and protect unconditionally. In addition to his personal feelings, this helps rationalize the action he wants to take because it creates a perfect justification to present to the police and the public.
He also recognizes that even without this extra rationalization, he will still be able to go through with it. Even if he will not get away with it, it will guarantee the safety and survival of his sisters, whom he has been trying to protect for numerous years. “And Nikki would be dead.
“Nikki would be dead.
“My mother would be dead” (241)
The final, and possibly most critical, acknowledgement is that he has called his mother by her first name throughout the entire book. This is a psychological coping mechanism. By calling her by her name and not by the label Mom/Mother, he is putting distance between them and protecting himself from the guilt of not loving her. It is easier to cope with her actions if, “Nikki did (insert bad thing)” and “Nikki hurt my sisters”, rather than “My mom did (insert bad thing)” and “My mom hurt my sisters”.
Moving between these two statements is when he has finally come to terms with the reality of his situation; and this makes all the
The question I found myself struggling with throughout the book is directed at their mother, Nikki: What is her perception of the motivation behind her behavior, compared to an outside party’s perception? …show more content…
A mother harming her defenseless six year old child, the very person she is supposed to love and protect unconditionally. In addition to his personal feelings, this helps rationalize the action he wants to take because it creates a perfect justification to present to the police and the public.
He also recognizes that even without this extra rationalization, he will still be able to go through with it. Even if he will not get away with it, it will guarantee the safety and survival of his sisters, whom he has been trying to protect for numerous years. “And Nikki would be dead.
“Nikki would be dead.
“My mother would be dead” (241)
The final, and possibly most critical, acknowledgement is that he has called his mother by her first name throughout the entire book. This is a psychological coping mechanism. By calling her by her name and not by the label Mom/Mother, he is putting distance between them and protecting himself from the guilt of not loving her. It is easier to cope with her actions if, “Nikki did (insert bad thing)” and “Nikki hurt my sisters”, rather than “My mom did (insert bad thing)” and “My mom hurt my sisters”.
Moving between these two statements is when he has finally come to terms with the reality of his situation; and this makes all the