Impact of Divorce on Children

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Liberty University Psychology Professor Greyer 02/07/2013 Author: Audrey F Culpepper The Impact of Divorce on Children Number of Pages: 9

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ABSTRACT In my paper I will discuss the impact divorce has on children. I will thoroughly investigate each aspect of what children go through when their parents get divorced. I will discuss how it takes a toll on them emotionally, and physically. I will also discuss how the actions of both parents have a big impact how well their children handle divorce.

Introduction page 3 Introduction The topic of my research paper “The impact of divorce on children and adolescents” I chose my topic for personal and educational reasons. This is psychology research paper taken from the internet, books, and magazine articles related to my topic. This paper is going to discuss the different ways divorce impacts children and adolescents. I also can personally on how divorce impacted me as a child of divorced parents. I have experienced the topic of my paper first hand, and my hope is that my children never have to face of the impact of divorce. Divorce introduces a big change in the life of a child whether they are a boy or a girl and age is no factor. Children have hard time when they see their parents’ marriage break up. Children have to adjust to weekend visits from one parents or the other. “Divorce is devastating event for the children involved. Life after divorce is significantly changed from how life was before.” (The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents Young children and adolescents can respond differently to divorce Published on December 19, 2011 by Carl E. Pickhardt, Ph.D. in Surviving (Your Child 's) Adolescence) “Somewhat different responses to this painful turn of events occur if the boy or girl is still in childhood or has entered adolescence. Basically, divorce tends to intensify the child 's dependence and it tends to accelerate the adolescent 's independence; it often elicits a more

Body page 4 regressive response in the child and a more aggressive response in the adolescent. Consider why this variation may be so.” (The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents Young children and adolescents can respond differently to divorce Published on December 19, 2011 by Carl E. Pickhardt, Ph.D. in Surviving (Your Child 's) Adolescence) Children of divorce parents need more nurturing than children of married parents. “They may become clingy and whiny--or they may become moody and silent. They feel angry. Their anger can be expressed in many ways, from extremely emotional to quiet resentment.” (Diana Milne, MilneD@missouri.edu Regional Specialist, Human Development Clay County, Missouri University of Missouri Extension) Most of the time children feel they are to blame when going through a divorce they feel like they did something to cause the divorce. A lot of the time children of divorce feel they need to take care of their parents. “Giving up one’s childhood to care for emotionally troubled parents is a widespread characteristic in children of divorce.” (Diana Milne, MilneD@missouri.edu Regional Specialist, Human Development Clay County, Missouri University of Missouri Extension) Children and teens do a lot of grieving during a divorce they fill like they have lost someone. “Since there is so much discussion of the effects of divorce on children, I want to begin by addressing whether there are really any differences between children who live in divorced families and children who live in married two-parent families (I will call them "intact."). In 1991 Amato and Keith examined the results of 92 studies involving 13,000 children ranging from Body page 5 preschool to young adulthood to determine what the overall results indicated. The overall result of this analysis was that children from divorced families are on "average" somewhat worse off than children who have lived in intact families. These children have more difficulty in school, more behavior problems, more negative self-concepts, more problems with peers, and more trouble getting along with their parents. A more recent update of the findings indicates that this pattern continues in more recent research (Amato, 2001).”(The Effects of Divorce on Children Posted Apr 10, 2009. Robert Hughes, Jr., Ph.D. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign)
These are so of the things that happen to children that come from divorce “ PARENTAL LOSS-- divorce often results in the loss of contact with one parent and with this loss children also lose the knowledge, skills and resources (emotional, financial, etc.) of that parent. ECONOMIC LOSS-- another result of divorce is that children living in single parent families are less likely to have as many economic resources as children living in intact families. MORE LIFE STRESS-- divorce often results in many changes in children 's living situations such as changing schools, child care, homes, etc. Children often also have to make adjustments to changes in relationships with friends and extended family members. These changes create a more stressful environment for children. POOR PARENTAL ADJUSTMENT-- generally how children fare in families is due in part to the mental health of the parents, this is likely to be true for children in divorced families as well. Body page 6
LACK OF PARENTAL COMPETENCE-- much of what happens to children in general is related to the skill of parents in helping them develop. The competence of parents following divorce is likely to have considerable influence on how the children are doing. EXPOSURE TO CONFLICT BETWEEN PARENTS-- conflict is frequently part of families and may be especially common in families that have undergone divorce. The degree to which children are exposed to conflict may have substantial effects on children 's well-being.”(The Effects of Divorce on Children Posted Apr 10, 2009. Robert Hughes, Jr., Ph.D. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign) According to an article in marriage and family a child family situation causes emotional adjustment, gender role orientation, and antisocial behavior, and other parts of a child’s well-being are affected as well. The article also says that these findings should be interpreted with caution. There have been many changes in the U.S due to high divorce rates. (The Impact of Divorce on Children- Journal of Marriage and the Family; Aug 1988; 50, 3; ProQuest Central pgs 619-648 Demo, David H;Acock, Alan C )These finding have major implications for the children involved. The article also says to have normal child development a child needs to be raised in a two parent home with a mother and father. Separation from unit is a problem for developing children and teens. Being away from one parent causes problems with cognitive development, achievement, and moral conformity, divorce effects boys more than girls.( The Impact of Divorce on Children- Journal of Marriage and the Family; Aug 1988; 50, 3; ProQuest Central pgs 619-648 Demo, David H;Acock, Alan C) Boy experienced more maladaptive symptoms and behavior problems because the usual living situation is for the father to live out of the house hold and the children live with the mother live in the house hold this why girls adapt better to the divorce than boys. Children that live with parents of the opposite sex did not adjust as well on measures of competent social behavior. Boys raised by their mothers are more likely to be more feminine than masculine; this Body page 7 happens more with children that are under the age of five because gender roles are established usually in the first three years of life.

Divorce is more than a short term effect on a child life; divorce has long term effects leaving children with and instability for a life time. Divorce effects children on ontological level, at the level of them being, relationships with God and with other people. When a parent reconnects with a new partner and remarries to form a new family the children involved still only feel partly connected to the new family; always feeling like and outsider in essence. According to Andrew Root Professor of Youth and Family Ministry at Lutheran Seminary” Happy parents make happy children rarely are a parent or child happy following a divorce?” Root also says that churches need support children of divorce through counseling services these wounds can be healed. (Christian Education Journal. 8.2 (Fall 2011): p421. - Scott Floyd- The children of divorce Full Text: COPYRIGHT 2011 Talbot School of Theology) Here are some that relate the topic of divorce “13 another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring so be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect” says the Lord Almighty.to be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.”(Malachi 2:13-16) (New International Version)

Body page 8 “10 But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord A wife must not leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife. 12 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a Christian man[b] has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. 13 And if a Christian
Woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. 14 For the Christian wife bring holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband[c] brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. 15 But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.” (1Corinthian7:10-15)(New Living Translation) (NLT)
Conclusion
The impact of divorce on children is so debilitating that we need that parents need to do their best to work things out they can especially when they have children. Children are not emotionally mature enough to handle their parents’ living apart that’s why divorce leaves lifelong scars on children of divorce. People today get divorced entirely to much marriage is lifelong commitment that some people are not ready make; and therefore if people are having problems in their marriage they should not bring children into it children dose not usually fix problems if anything they make the worst your children deserve the very best. It is so important for children to develop healthy emotional stability.

Reference Page 9 References
-Christian Education Journal. 8.2 (Fall 2011): p421. - Scott Floyd- The children of divorce Full Text: COPYRIGHT 2011 Talbot School of Theology
-1Corinthian7:10-15 New Living Translation-Bible
- Diana Milne, MilneD@missouri.edu Regional Specialist, Human Development Clay County, Missouri University of Missouri Extension
- Malachi 2:13-16New International Version- Bible
- The Effects of Divorce on Children Posted Apr 10, 2009. Robert Hughes, Jr., Ph.D. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
- The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents Young children and adolescents can respond differently to divorce Published on December 19, 2011 by Carl E. Pickhardt, Ph.D. in Surviving (Your Child 's) Adolescence)
- The Impact of Divorce on Children- Journal of Marriage and the Family; Aug 1988; 50, 3; ProQuest Central pgs 619-648 Demo, David H;Acock, Alan C

References: -Christian Education Journal. 8.2 (Fall 2011): p421. - Scott Floyd- The children of divorce Full Text: COPYRIGHT 2011 Talbot School of Theology -1Corinthian7:10-15 New Living Translation-Bible - Diana Milne, MilneD@missouri.edu Regional Specialist, Human Development Clay County, Missouri University of Missouri Extension - Malachi 2:13-16New International Version- Bible - The Effects of Divorce on Children Posted Apr 10, 2009. Robert Hughes, Jr., Ph.D. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign - The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents Young children and adolescents can respond differently to divorce Published on December 19, 2011 by Carl E. Pickhardt, Ph.D. in Surviving (Your Child 's) Adolescence) - The Impact of Divorce on Children- Journal of Marriage and the Family; Aug 1988; 50, 3; ProQuest Central pgs 619-648 Demo, David H;Acock, Alan C