Essay Identity & Belonging

TOPIC: ‘A person’s sense of individual identity is always changing in response to their experiences of life” Discuss. (500 – 1,200 words).

Everyone has their own individual identity, but not everyone accepts who they truly are. Many feel the urge to change who they are to fit society’s expectations; to feel included, to be included. I, myself am a victim of such conformity. Abandoning my culture, my beliefs to foolishly chase “that someone” that I know will never be me. So today, I shall pour my deepest thoughts and regrets onto this flimsy sheet of paper and hopefully this will inspire future individuals to be proud of whom they are and avoid the trap of conformity.

At one stage of my life, I was brainwashed by others perceptions of me. Erasing my identity in which my family had formed to form a new identity which fulfilled the requirements of “society’s expectations”. Living and enduring these years could easily be said as the hardest few years my life; being who I desire to be with my true self lingering in my shadows, hidden from the public’s eyes. Solitude became my best friend. My one and only freedom, a time where I can be myself; tranquillity. Who knew opinions of strangers had such a huge impact on me? So huge that it had the power to conform who I am. To refuse and reject the acceptance of my true self. The whispers and murmurs of teenagers in schoolyard is the beginning of the deterioration of my identity.

Betrayal of family and friends to follow the crowd of humanities acceptance. As my college years commenced, I thought it was the termination of my false formed me. But I thought wrong. Things worsened from then on, the media presented me an illusion of how I should be. I walked the streets everyday believing I was never good enough. Crossing billboards of thin models with looks of perfections and turning my head not only to be taunted by another image of flawlessness. Unable to escape these so called “aspiring” images that slowly corroded my mind away, leaving me feeling like one of gods’ failures. So I began to take drastic measures, being exposed to fads and diets advertised almost everywhere my eyes laid upon I tried them out. Shakes, pills I tried them all but I had no patience to see its affects. I resulted in depriving myself from nutrients and food. Starvation seemed to be working great at the time, it was almost an instant result. Family and friends began to see my extreme weight loss and begged for me to seek help. But I pushed them away, knowing my goal is to one day be as this as them girls in magazines. Skin and bones was all of me, although I was unaware of the consequences I have gotten myself into. Something in which I sadly can say I regret. As you can see, I have fallen deeply into a pit of self-consciousness which is costing my life. I have almost lost everything due to societies expectations. I lay helplessly everyday in this hospital ward fighting for my life and identity back again, knowing my organs are slowly shutting down and could grasp my life away at any spontaneous moment. All I can do now is reminisce about my experiences which lead me to this fragile state I am now in and wish that I could have learnt to love myself and be proud of identity. All I can do now is express myself in writing upon this flimsy piece of paper.

Written By: Stephanie Vo 12G1