Andrew Bernard Monologue
INT. OFFICE - ANDY'S DESK - DAY
Andy behind his desk, a landline phone pressed up against his ear.
ANDY
Hey Mom. Did you see it?
(beat)
Yeah. I did that all by myself.
(beat)
Thanks, only took me three hours.
andy's talking head:
ANDY
When people think of Andrew Bernard, people think goodlooking, multi-talented, super salesman. And now, people will think artist.
Andy lifts up a copy of Ranger Rick magazine. The magazine is opened on a page with crude drawings on it. He points to a drawing of a man on the top right corner of the page.
ANDY(CONT'D)
I've finally been published. I had to get everyone I know a copy. The stores were sold out - I'm not surprised. Had to go to a dentist and three doctor consolting rooms.
INT. OFFICE - …show more content…
phyllis
It says here you're eleven. Did you lie about your age?
ANDY
No - maybe. But that's not important. What's important is that I'm a published artist now.
JIM
If you didn't lie about your age, how do we know that this isn't another Andrew Bernard?
Dwight stares at the drawing.
DWIGHT
He's going to sell paper with those little hands like that?
Dwight smirks at the camera.
PAM
This kid has a bright future--
ANDY
Okay! Yes! I lied about my age, alright. The point is that I was good enough to make it into the magazine, something Pam has never achieved. No offense, Pam.
Pam frowns.
PHYLLIS
This is wrong Andy.
OSCAR
Yeah you should'nt have lied.
Michael strides out of his office.
MICHAEL
Come on guys what's with all the working, lets get our game on. Wohooo!
PAM
Andy is showing
Michael reads the magazine. He snorts.
MICHAEL
How's he going to sale paper with those small hands?
DWIGHT
That's what I said!
ANDY
Fine. If you guys want to take my achievement away from me than I'll take it away from you first.
Andy grabs the magazine out of their hands.
DWIGHT TALKING HEAD:
DWIGHT
I wanted to keep the magazine. I wasn't done helping the baby hamster find his mom.
(beat)
I feel
Andy behind his desk, a landline phone pressed up against his ear.
ANDY
Hey Mom. Did you see it?
(beat)
Yeah. I did that all by myself.
(beat)
Thanks, only took me three hours.
andy's talking head:
ANDY
When people think of Andrew Bernard, people think goodlooking, multi-talented, super salesman. And now, people will think artist.
Andy lifts up a copy of Ranger Rick magazine. The magazine is opened on a page with crude drawings on it. He points to a drawing of a man on the top right corner of the page.
ANDY(CONT'D)
I've finally been published. I had to get everyone I know a copy. The stores were sold out - I'm not surprised. Had to go to a dentist and three doctor consolting rooms.
INT. OFFICE - …show more content…
phyllis
It says here you're eleven. Did you lie about your age?
ANDY
No - maybe. But that's not important. What's important is that I'm a published artist now.
JIM
If you didn't lie about your age, how do we know that this isn't another Andrew Bernard?
Dwight stares at the drawing.
DWIGHT
He's going to sell paper with those little hands like that?
Dwight smirks at the camera.
PAM
This kid has a bright future--
ANDY
Okay! Yes! I lied about my age, alright. The point is that I was good enough to make it into the magazine, something Pam has never achieved. No offense, Pam.
Pam frowns.
PHYLLIS
This is wrong Andy.
OSCAR
Yeah you should'nt have lied.
Michael strides out of his office.
MICHAEL
Come on guys what's with all the working, lets get our game on. Wohooo!
PAM
Andy is showing
Michael reads the magazine. He snorts.
MICHAEL
How's he going to sale paper with those small hands?
DWIGHT
That's what I said!
ANDY
Fine. If you guys want to take my achievement away from me than I'll take it away from you first.
Andy grabs the magazine out of their hands.
DWIGHT TALKING HEAD:
DWIGHT
I wanted to keep the magazine. I wasn't done helping the baby hamster find his mom.
(beat)
I feel