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My friends satire essay for AP English. This is literally one of the funniest thing I have ever read.
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Cars are a fantastic invention. They make our first-world lives even more carefree by
getting us from place to place quickly while eradicating the need for legs altogether. Instead of
walking that two blocks to spend seventeen dollars at KFC, why not drive there? You get there
faster and can start eating sooner; it is a lot easier to shove those Double Down sandwiches down
your throat behind the wheel of your Suburban than while hobbling down the sidewalk. There is
no doubt that the benefits of driving from place to place are exponentially great. However, all
that driving takes an awful lot of fuel, and everyone knows that fuel for cars isn’t the most
plentiful (or cheapest!) of resources.
The gasoline that keeps your vehicle running smoothly is supplied from petroleum, also
known as crude oil that is pumped out of the ground. This crude oil, in turn, is created by the
transformation of long-dead plant and marine animal fossils. These fossils are under immense
pressure and heat for hundreds of thousands of years, and the result is a dark and waxy substance
known as kerogen. These kerogen molecules then eventually break down into petroleum or
natural gas and are pumped into your gas tank. That’s right: you are cruising around town with
no aim or purpose, and your car is running off of a limited supply of dead fish souls. An
expensive limited
My friends satire essay for AP English. This is literally one of the funniest thing I have ever read.
Comments
Share
File
Edit
View
Help
View only
To enable screen reader support, press CTRL + ALT + Z. To learn about keyboard shortcuts, press CTRL + FORWARD SLASH.
Cars are a fantastic invention. They make our first-world lives even more carefree by
getting us from place to place quickly while eradicating the need for legs altogether. Instead of
walking that two blocks to spend seventeen dollars at KFC, why not drive there? You get there
faster and can start eating sooner; it is a lot easier to shove those Double Down sandwiches down
your throat behind the wheel of your Suburban than while hobbling down the sidewalk. There is
no doubt that the benefits of driving from place to place are exponentially great. However, all
that driving takes an awful lot of fuel, and everyone knows that fuel for cars isn’t the most
plentiful (or cheapest!) of resources.
The gasoline that keeps your vehicle running smoothly is supplied from petroleum, also
known as crude oil that is pumped out of the ground. This crude oil, in turn, is created by the
transformation of long-dead plant and marine animal fossils. These fossils are under immense
pressure and heat for hundreds of thousands of years, and the result is a dark and waxy substance
known as kerogen. These kerogen molecules then eventually break down into petroleum or
natural gas and are pumped into your gas tank. That’s right: you are cruising around town with
no aim or purpose, and your car is running off of a limited supply of dead fish souls. An
expensive limited