Who Am I - a Journey of a Transgender Woman

Transgender people face unique challenges — such as widespread discrimination and hate violence, the complex process of getting appropriate identity documents, finding culturally competent healthcare providers, and family and parenting issues — that make them some of the most vulnerable members of American society. These issues affect thousands of people and their families, representing all ages, classes and ethnic groups, who together are an integral part of India. A transgender woman whose journey begins after indentifying herself as a woman but brought up as man by her parents.

We follow a general prevalence method of identifying gender at birth as either male or female. But transgender cant be identified at birth, they posses contradictory physical appearance and inner feel. Though they physically look like a man they are woman in nature.

From the moment we're born, our gender identity is no secret. We're either a boy or a girl. Gender organizes our world into pink or blue. As we grow up, most of us naturally fit into our gender roles. Girls wear dresses and play with dolls. For boys, it's pants and trucks.

Male-to-female and female-to-male transsexuals differed with respect to social, partnership, and sexual behavior, independently of whether they had had surgery. Female-to-male transsexuals more often had close ties to their parents and siblings, established stable partnerships more frequently solely with the same biological sex, and were more satisfied sexually. When they first consulted a physician about sex change, they were already more integrated socially. By the time the follow-up assessment took place, male to -female transsexuals were as integrated socially as their female-to-male counterparts. The differences in partnership behavior between male-to-female and female-to-male transsexuals were not altered as a result of surgery, despite the better surgical match with which surgery provides male-to-female transsexuals in comparison with their female-to-male counterparts. The reasons for the relational differences remain unclear and raise issues in the areas of develop mental psychology and genetics.

But for some children, what's between their legs doesn't match what's between their ears -- they insist they were born into the wrong body. They are transgender children, diagnosed with gender identity disorder, and their parents insist this is not a phase.

Till their teen, they don’t find problem. But when they cross 13 the problem begins. The society see them as boy but they feel themselves as girl an prefer to wear girl dress, cosmetics and mingle with girl children.

A woman s feelings. A woman s tenderness. A woman s love, desires, longing. All trapped in a man s body. How do I get rid of this identity I spurn? How I wish I could discard this body the way a snake sheds its skin? How will I redeem my self, my identity, my feelings, my dreams? How many deaths have I died, succumbing to the heaps of humiliations, wounds and barbs life has aimed at me? Yet my journey has crossed these hurdles. It has a meaning. I have found a body that s perfect for me. This is the story of Vidya once without hope or identity, abandoned, a walking disaster who has emerged from darkness into light.

By the time a transsexual child confides, takes the terrible risk of rejection that disclosure entails, the situation which is to say the pain has become undeniable. Your child is reaching out to you now not to hurt you but to show you the love and trust that is the only true sign of a good parent-child relationship, to tell the truth, the core fact of a life. If you haven't seen it that way then just pause and think a minute, would you really want your child to lie to you, would you enjoy living with a shadow of a person never really knowing who that person was? Don't be confused here with the question, þWould you rather that you never had to be told that your child was transsexual?þ The answer to that one is obvious, of course, you would rather that the necessity to face transsexualism was not present. The transsexual condition is not easy to face, it is one of nature's true anomalies. It may never be completely understood.

When parents are told by their child that he/she is gender dysphoric and is planning a change of sex, the parents usually experience shock, a sense of betrayal, and a sense of loss. They may be able to accept the change intellectually, but at the emotional level, there is a sense of having lost a son (or daughter).

The burden felt by the parents is doubly great because the loss of a child and its accompanying feeling of powerlessness go against the most basic of parental instincts, that of protecting the offspring. Faced with such a catastrophic idea, the stunned parents all too often believe they should have been able to avert the "tragedy." When the feeling of powerlessness sets in, parents find themselves in a situation of having to deal not only with their shock, but also with their perceived inability to have prevented it. One of the basic things taken away from the parents is the conviction of possessing the ability to control and to have some say about what is happening in the world. Feeling that ability gone, parents must turn elsewhere to believe once again in themselves and to re-develop their sense of self-esteem. At this stage they are ill treated by the comates lead them to become isolated and find people who could understand their feel. They start their journey in search of their identical genders . The transgender live together as a family and form a commune beyond cast and religion.

After coming out to their families, some transgender people find that their relatives can be some of their most supportive and dedicated advocates.

Transgender have a family tree in which they follow a pattern of Grandma (NAANI), Mother (THAAYAMMA), Sister etc. They adopt the new comers and join with their family. Once they become member of a family they feel the freedom of expressing their inner nature and breath the fresh air.

The next step after they become a member of a family is they go under surgery called “NIRVAANAM” as a sign of becoming complete woman.

Thaayamma who is the mother of transgender takes care of her after surgery. The love ad affection among transgender beyond all cross culture is amazing. They preach the brotherhood for the society. Born in some corner and the only connection is transgender in nature, they live in harmony as a commune.

It is a hard decision which a transgender takes of giving up their born gender identity against their family and society. Nobody accepts their gender transition. Knowing the fact of pain and discrimination they decide to become transsexual woman.

Most of the transgender face difficulty in finding job and sustaining in job. So they end up either as sex workers or beggars at shops. Some of them been abused at their young age gets adapted for doing sex work.

Over the past years there has been very little positive press in regards to cross-dressing and transsexualism. However, in the recent past, some positive education has taken place. Television talk shows, such as Joan Rivers and Sally Jessy Raphael, and a book by Mariette Pathy Allen, Transformations, Crossdressers and Those Who Love Them, have been produced. In these cases, typical transgendered males are artfully and accurately depicted. Unfortunately, these positive efforts are oftentimes overshadowed by sensationalism and negativism. Thus, the myth of transgendered behavior continues in the eyes of the public. Transgendered people therefore frequently suffer unwarranted discrimination and social stigma when their secret is discovered or revealed. Very little factual literature on the subject is readily available to the general population to correct the misconception of popular social mythology.

Leading normal life with their family members is a dream for them. Few transgender who come up facing these challenges still fail in getting a spouse. The basic need of human being is not given to transgender. They are seen only as a sex workers. They are neglected in all respects. They are not even looked upon as a pet dog.

Transitioning from one gender to another is a complex process. People who transition often start by expressing their preferred gender in situations where they feel safe. They typically work up to living full-time as members of their preferred gender, by making many changes a little at a time. Gender transition typically involves adopting the appearance of the desired sex through changes in clothing and grooming, adoption of a name typical of the desired sex, change of sex designation on identity documents, treatment with cross-sex hormones, surgical alteration of secondary sex characteristics to approximate those of the desired sex, and in biological males, removal of facial hair with electrolysis or laser treatments. Finding a qualified mental health professional to provide guidance and referrals to other helping professionals is often an important first step in gender transition. Connecting with other transgender people through peer support groups and transgender community organizations is also very helpful.

Only marriage can provide families with true equality. However, domestic partnerships and other forms of relationship recognition, though limited, provide important and tangible protections. This section of the HRC website is dedicated to providing resources on the array of current protections, plus information on laws in your state, financial issues, answers to questions about marriage equality and so much more.

Marriage is a dream for them. Few transgender do get marry, and living a normal life like other woman. But how long it would continue is a every day question they ask themselves.

THEIR JOURNEY FOR A LOVE NEVER ENDS