TO PIMP A BUTTERFLY
TO PIMP A BUTTERFLY
My life is a dreadful piece of work, at first living with my grandparents since I was six, now I got the “whole world on my shoulders”, begging me to make a choice, but now I’m by myself stuck in a whole. I guess I have to toss and turn with the devil to make my choice and if I don’t make a choice soon I’ll make myself go insane. To keep myself sane I learned a new saying and it is said “to pimp a butterfly” this saying makes me feel good about myself because when I say it in my head I feel I can make all of my problems go away cause the butterfly is going to float the problems all away.
Either way my decisions are all on me, but there are two people who I can blame and they’re my mother and father they manipulated me, they told me to decide so I always thought about it in school, home, and therapy. I think maliciously in my head about the way I was raised, and that didn’t go good my father used to beat me and my brothers and my mother would try to stop it but she couldn’t. so when I was alone I prayed to god to curse me till I’m dead if he can bring a guardian angel to protect me, but now that curse is over because I haven’t spoken to my father in two years, my life is a little better but still fucked up I still have nightmares about the beatings that me and my brothers took and my dreams feel so real it feels like he’s really hitting me and I play it in my head over and over again.
Most of the time of my life since I was thirteen I told my therapist about everything but he never understood my problems so I stopped going and I handled it on my own. I knew my mother and father were too guilty to be ashamed so I consider them to be guilty all the same. At times I feel that they think I’m invisible and when I’m older I don’t want to see anyone for a long time, I play over and over again in my head my dad’s voice telling me that I will be a “failure” so if I don’t graduate high school I have a plan, I will live off the grid and live my life as a
My life is a dreadful piece of work, at first living with my grandparents since I was six, now I got the “whole world on my shoulders”, begging me to make a choice, but now I’m by myself stuck in a whole. I guess I have to toss and turn with the devil to make my choice and if I don’t make a choice soon I’ll make myself go insane. To keep myself sane I learned a new saying and it is said “to pimp a butterfly” this saying makes me feel good about myself because when I say it in my head I feel I can make all of my problems go away cause the butterfly is going to float the problems all away.
Either way my decisions are all on me, but there are two people who I can blame and they’re my mother and father they manipulated me, they told me to decide so I always thought about it in school, home, and therapy. I think maliciously in my head about the way I was raised, and that didn’t go good my father used to beat me and my brothers and my mother would try to stop it but she couldn’t. so when I was alone I prayed to god to curse me till I’m dead if he can bring a guardian angel to protect me, but now that curse is over because I haven’t spoken to my father in two years, my life is a little better but still fucked up I still have nightmares about the beatings that me and my brothers took and my dreams feel so real it feels like he’s really hitting me and I play it in my head over and over again.
Most of the time of my life since I was thirteen I told my therapist about everything but he never understood my problems so I stopped going and I handled it on my own. I knew my mother and father were too guilty to be ashamed so I consider them to be guilty all the same. At times I feel that they think I’m invisible and when I’m older I don’t want to see anyone for a long time, I play over and over again in my head my dad’s voice telling me that I will be a “failure” so if I don’t graduate high school I have a plan, I will live off the grid and live my life as a