Preview

The Art of Talking

Good Essays
Open Document
Open Document
919 Words
Grammar
Grammar
Plagiarism
Plagiarism
Writing
Writing
Score
Score
The Art of Talking
The Art of Talking
Lenora Curtis
COM 200
Instructor Danielle Doud
May 6, 2013

The Art of Talking Research has indicated there are ways of matching personality styles and compatibility by language Style Matching. The article titled “Shared Talking Styles Herald New and Lasting Romance” points out there are indicators that show certain similarities in the way people communicate that cause an attraction to each other (Bower, B., U.S.News & World Report, 2010). In this paper I will discuss why I believe this statement to be true as well as why I found the results from the Language Style Matching quiz to be very accurate.
First, Research has found when people have an attraction to one another and have no idea why there is a connection to Language Style Matching. This is when two people use similar words or phrases, such as nouns, pronouns, and prepositions (Bowers, 2010). I personally believe this to be true because I know of a couple that was very much in love and I noticed how they talked very similar. Even when they were apart they used the same common phrases and words. I would listen to them talk to each other and I noticed a speech pattern and tone of voice they used with each other and they were very similar to one another. When I asked what their initial attraction was other than physical attributes they both shrugged their shoulders. I pointed out to them at that time they both had the same mannerisms, and almost simultaneously they both made a face and said “oh” and laughed.
Another reason why I believe the article is true is because of my Aunt and Uncle. I would spend my summers with them and watch how they were so much alike in how they talked and how they would act. One day while out on the deck, I noticed how their non-verbal body language was also very similar, such as the way they both stood against the rail with arms crossed and would lean towards each other slightly. They had almost identical mannerisms and they used the



References: Bower, B. (2010, Shared talking styles herald new and lasting romance. U.S.News & World Report, 1. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/821694533?accountid=32521

You May Also Find These Documents Helpful

  • Better Essays

    References: Chapman, G. (2010). The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. Chicago, IL:…

    • 2972 Words
    • 12 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    Paul Taylor of Lancaster University stated “if you just click with somebody but can’t put a finger on why, there’s a fair chance that high language-style matching is going on.” (Taylor 2010) (Bower, 2010). Although the article has established the importance of one’s compatibility and language – style within a relationship when it comes to communication, it fails to explore the other options in which one may be compatible to another such as:…

    • 608 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Language Style Matching

    • 851 Words
    • 4 Pages

    Language-Style matching is described as an unconscious verbal communication. It signifies “not how much two people like each other but how much each is paying attention to what the other says.” (Bower, 2010) We both love each other dearly and would do anything for each other. We are each other’s best friend. We are also two different people. He’s a planner and I’m more of a live by each day type of gal. It annoys him I’m this way sometimes but also at times he enjoys this side of me because it reminds him that life is too short. His planner side keeps me grounded and holds me accountable for my goals in life. He supports my goal of finishing my degree. He’s always asking and making sure I’m studying and getting work done. Sometimes communication is tough between the two of us on the simplest of things. For example; the other day I mentioned I didn’t want to cook and that we should go out to eat for dinner. He jumped on board and asked, “What type of food was I in the mood for?” I answered back with, “Let’s try that Chinese restaurant we always drive by?” He then asked me to pull up the Yelp reviews, which I did, and informed him there were some good reviews and bad but overall it’s about average. The restaurant is across the street from our place so we proceeded to head over. While walking over he decided to pull up another restaurants review that he wanted to try. He didn’t say much and when he was done looking at it…

    • 851 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    Do the styles of our language predict the quality of interpersonal relationships? Psychological science thinks the reason why people show mutual romantic interests or can communicate better with someone is because of similar function words. “They say unconscious verbal coordination of this sort, dubbed language-style matching by researchers, signifies not how much two people like each other but how much each is paying attention to what the other says” (Ashford Library, Proquest; Bruce Bower). How can we determine if we have similar function words with who we are having conversation with? Researchers have been doing analyses on how to determine a conversation between two people and how the conversation can show how the two relate to each other.…

    • 674 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    Research to support this theory can be seen by Caspi and Herbener (1990). They found that married couples with similar personalities tend to be happier then couples with less similar personalities. This suggests that similarity is important and often the rule for long term relationships.…

    • 562 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    When Harry Met Sally

    • 2219 Words
    • 8 Pages

    The movie starts out with Harry and Amanda hugging and kissing. They look like a…

    • 2219 Words
    • 8 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Better Essays

    Language Style Matching

    • 1335 Words
    • 6 Pages

    I found the article to be somewhat accurate, but also slightly out of the realm of reality. In the article, it is written in regard of function words that “Unconscious verbal coordination of this sort, dubbed language-style matching by the researchers, signifies not how much two people like each other but how much each is paying attention to what the other says (Bower, 2010)”. I agree with this merely because if two people are conversing and not paying attention to one another, they will not notice the proper functions words to correspond with. To me, this means that if two people are talking, and are in a relationship, they should have similar function words or pronouns. What seemed inaccurate about this accurate was the idea that such words would fuel romance. Whereas I do agree that people that talk the same would have a better chance of getting along in a relationship, it does not provide any proof that the groups that were tested in the studies, stayed together longer than three months. This does not justify romance to me. Our commonalities and comparable verbal techniques do initially bring us together; I agree with that part of the article. However, in order to continue on into a loving relationship there has to be something more, something deeper to keep that connection. Whether it is a love for the same hobbies…

    • 1335 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    Letter of Advice

    • 2566 Words
    • 11 Pages

    Bower, B. (2010, November). Shared talking styles herald new and lasting romance. U.S. News & World Report, 1. doi: 2223940991…

    • 2566 Words
    • 11 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    References: Bower, B. (2010, November ). Shared Talking Styles Herald New and Lasting Romance . U.S. News and World Report.…

    • 787 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    Bradshaw Essay

    • 1854 Words
    • 5 Pages

    Chapman, Gary D. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. [New ed. Chicago: Northfield Pub., 1995. Print.…

    • 1854 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    Talking: Ways Of Talking

    • 386 Words
    • 2 Pages

    The speaker, and who ever else is included in the “we”, discusses how they also enjoyed talking about grief and actively grieving. Grief was a feeling that was often expressed by the speaker(s) or shown in the world around them. In the first and second stanza, the speaker(s) talked about grief and grieved whether or not there was actually something to be express grief on.…

    • 386 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    I know that when communicating with my partner I do not always do the right things; but I try. When identifying myself through communication there are many ways to describe my communication style. I am a person that will keep buying the same perfume for years because I feel that that scent fits my personality. This is a key aspect of how I could be identified non-verbally; by olfactory communication. I identify by being the kind of person that will rub your back when you don’t feel good. I feel that this is another way I could be identified non-verbally through touch messages. I identify again non-verbally by the clothes I put on in the mornings. I can be identified verbally by my accent that I have obtained from being raised in Western North Carolina. I also think that people along with myself identify me as being enculturated. This would be due to my lack of travel and experience with other cultures. I feel that people can identify me as a respectful communicator and one that is kind with her words. Now that I’ve told you how people along with myself identify me I will tell you about how I react in different…

    • 1284 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    Unit 1-7 Test

    • 1676 Words
    • 7 Pages

    | claims that when another group is attractive and powerful, we adapt our communication style to their speech behaviors and norms…

    • 1676 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    People Styles 1

    • 1194 Words
    • 5 Pages

    7 billion people. 257 countries. 10,000 Spoken Languages 16 Personality (MBTI) 4 Behavioral Styles 4 Thinking Styles 3 Learning Styles…

    • 1194 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Powerful Essays