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English Room 101 Speech

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Doesn’t everyone just hate snoring? You have to agree with me that when you are awake at night and you are with some one that snores it is the most irritating thing in the world as half the time it is impossible to get back to sleep. Without a doubt if I succeed today snoring is most definitely going into room 101. The one and only major natural thing that really could make you sleep hell has to be stupendous, snotty snoring. When you awake the next day you are like a drowned rat as your body has not recovered at all from last night and therefore will completely ruin the day ahead. Why when we evolved were we given the power to snore? Half the time you want to get the person who is snoring and shake his body to bits just like a rattle. Or even cover his face in cold water to let the person feel what it is like not to be able to sleep. You know that snoring has just got to go in room 101 to save us from dreadful, irritating snoring!

Another thing I would put in Room 101 would have to be hiccupping. Don’t you agree that it is the most useless thing we can do? It doesn’t cure us from anything; all it does is making speaking anything almost impossible. You have to agree with me that it is completely pointless. It’s one of the worst things apart from one or two that a human being can produce. It completely ruins conversations. It’s like speaking with a ball of fire in your mouth – impossible! Its also quite embarrassing in a public place to start to hiccup due to the fact that everyone starts to stare because they are too bored to not look otherwise. You must agree with me hiccupping has to go in room 101 to let us speak with being interrupted by hiccups!

The final thing I would put in room 101 would have to be coughing. Now by now you should have seen a theme in the room 101 items and coughing is another of my hates. I mean why on earth do we have a tickly cough. It’s pointless! It doesn’t do any purpose apart

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