Short Story
SMARTHINKING's E-structor Response Form (Your marked-up essay is below this form.) HOW THIS WORKS: Your e-structor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your e-structor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] throughout your essay. Thank you for choosing SMARTHINKING's OWL; best wishes with revising your paper! Hi, Gregory! I am Kobe F., and I am happy to read and comment on your work today. I like your choice of Jimmy Cross for your discussion because he suffers the most important conflict between desire and duty in O’Brien’s story. Below I suggest some improvements to your thesis statement, conclusion, and comma use to help you enhance your paper. The ERF and embedded comments include the draft being on topic and grammatically correct as in “Help Requested.” So here we go! *Strengths of the essay: The strongest point of this draft is that you start the introduction with “What is more important desires or obligations?” as your most important topic-related question that hooks readers to read on. Well done, Gregory! *Gregory 6001059 has requested that you respond to the Main Idea/Thesis: “Jimmy Cross the protagonist in O’Brien’s “The Things They Carried” is pulled astray from his obligations as a leader and protector by his desires for love” identifies your topic and the story as well as its author, but your thesis statement must do more, Gregory. Remember, naming the main topic, defining the purpose of the essay, and indicating the main discussion points to follow are the important tasks of the essay’s thesis that is best given at the end of your introductory paragraph after the essential background details. Look at this model: The central theme of the novel East of Eden by John Steinbeck is that love and hate are closely related (topic), so the qualities of each emotion [core idea 1(love) and 2 (hate)] and the relationship between the two (core idea 3) will be discussed to prove that they are reversible aspects of the