Self Esteem and Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships
Self-esteem is a widely studied construct in psychology. It has even gained popularity over
time, and spilled into the mainstream media. While it is a widely known concept, it has come to
encompass an array of attitudes, not all of which are accurate (Crocker & Park, 2004). However,
before detailing into an account on self-esteem, we first need to define it. Self-esteem simply put
is the amount of value people put onto themselves. (Baumeister, Campbell, Krueger & Vohs,
2003). Hence, individuals with high self-esteem (HSEs) have a positive evaluation of themselves,
whereas individuals with low self-esteem (LSEs) have a negative evaluation of themselves. It is
only a perception, based on an evaluation of his or her characteristics, not on objective measures.
While the idea that HSEs do much better in life than LSEs is attractive and popular, recent
research has shown that HSE does not necessarily lead to success in school, or at work.
(Baumeister, Campbell, Krueger & Vohs, 2003; Crocker & Park, 2004). While HSE does not
necessarily lead to success, HSE is more advantageous in interpersonal relationships. LSEs were
chronically dissatisfied with their romantic relationships (Cavallo, Fitzsimons & Holmes, 2009).
This can be explained by the tendency for LSEs to engage in potentially destructive behaviors like
hostility, avoidance or aggression. (Bellavia & Murray, 2003; Crocker & Park, 2004)
LSE’s lower satisfaction in their romantic relationships compared to HSEs can be
explained by several reasons. Firstly, LSEs yearn for higher levels of acceptance from their
partners, but are less willing to accept positive feedback. They also believe that their partner’s
love is conditional, upon presence of certain positive qualities. Unsure if they possess such
qualities, they do not develop trust towards their partner. LSEs also have self-concept confusion,
leaving them more vulnerable to external sources of stimuli,
time, and spilled into the mainstream media. While it is a widely known concept, it has come to
encompass an array of attitudes, not all of which are accurate (Crocker & Park, 2004). However,
before detailing into an account on self-esteem, we first need to define it. Self-esteem simply put
is the amount of value people put onto themselves. (Baumeister, Campbell, Krueger & Vohs,
2003). Hence, individuals with high self-esteem (HSEs) have a positive evaluation of themselves,
whereas individuals with low self-esteem (LSEs) have a negative evaluation of themselves. It is
only a perception, based on an evaluation of his or her characteristics, not on objective measures.
While the idea that HSEs do much better in life than LSEs is attractive and popular, recent
research has shown that HSE does not necessarily lead to success in school, or at work.
(Baumeister, Campbell, Krueger & Vohs, 2003; Crocker & Park, 2004). While HSE does not
necessarily lead to success, HSE is more advantageous in interpersonal relationships. LSEs were
chronically dissatisfied with their romantic relationships (Cavallo, Fitzsimons & Holmes, 2009).
This can be explained by the tendency for LSEs to engage in potentially destructive behaviors like
hostility, avoidance or aggression. (Bellavia & Murray, 2003; Crocker & Park, 2004)
LSE’s lower satisfaction in their romantic relationships compared to HSEs can be
explained by several reasons. Firstly, LSEs yearn for higher levels of acceptance from their
partners, but are less willing to accept positive feedback. They also believe that their partner’s
love is conditional, upon presence of certain positive qualities. Unsure if they possess such
qualities, they do not develop trust towards their partner. LSEs also have self-concept confusion,
leaving them more vulnerable to external sources of stimuli,
References: Baldwin, M. W., & Sinclair, L. S. (1996). Self-esteem and interpersonal acceptance Baumeister, R. F., Campbell, J. D., Krueger, J. I., & Vohs, K. D. (2003). Does high self- esteem cause better performance, interpersonal success, happiness, or healthier lifestyles? Baumeister, R. F., Smart, L., & Boden, J. M. (1996). Relation of threatened egotism to violence and aggression: The dark side of high self-esteem Bellavia, G., & Murray, S. (2003). Did I do that? Self-esteem-related differences in reactions to romantic partners’ moods Brandt, A. C., & Vonk, R. (2006). Who do you think you are? On the link between self- Knowledge and self-esteem Brennan, K. A., & Morris, K. A. (1997). Attachment styles, self-esteem, and patterns of seeking feedback from romantic partners Brockner, J. (1984). Low self-esteem and behavioral plasticity: Some implications for personality and social psychology Campbell, J. D. (1990). Self-esteem and clarity of the self-concept. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59, 538-549. Campbell, J. D., Chew, B., & Scratchley, L. S. (1991). Cognitive and emotional reactions to daily events: The effects of self-esteem and self-complexity Camper, P. M., Jacobson, N. S., Holtzworth-Munroe, A., & Schmaling, K. B. (1988). Causal attributions for interactional behaviors in married couples Cavallo, J. V., Fitzsimons, G. M., & Holmes, J. G. (2009). Taking Chances in the Face of Threat: Romantic Risk Regulation and Approach Motivation, Personality and Social Psychology DeHart, T., Pelham, B., & Murray, S. (2004). Implicit dependency regulation: Self-esteem, relationship closeness, and implicit evaluations of close others Garcia-Moreno, C., Jansen, H. A. F. M., Ellsberg, M., Heise, L., & Watts, C. (2006). Prevalence of intimate partner violence: Findings from the WHO multi-country study on women 's health and domestic violence. World Health Organization, 368, 1260-69 Hendrick, S.S., Hendrick, C., & Adler, N.L Leary, M. R., Tambor, E. S., Terdal, S. K., & Downs, D. L. (1995). Self-esteem as an interper- sonal monitor: The sociometer hypothesis Marigold, A. C., Holmes, J, G. & Ross, M. (2007). More Than Words: Reframing Compliments From Romantic Partners Fosters Security in Low Self-Esteem Individuals Mruk, C. J., (2006). Self-Esteem, Research, Theory, and Practice. Springer Publishing Company: New York. Murray, S. L., Derrick, J. L., Leder, S., & Holmes, J. G. (2008). Balancing connectedness and self-protection goals in close relationships: A levels-of-processing perspective on risk Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., & Collins, N. L. (2006). Optimizing assurance: The risk regulation system in relationships Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., & Griffin, D. W. (2000). Self-esteem and the quest for felt security: