Satire of Kennedy's Inaugural Address
Ask Not What Your Playground Can Do For You Timmy, Jimmy, Tom, Andy, weird kid picking his nose on the teeter-totter: Today we didn't see my birthday party, but me being a little kid and turning into a big kid-- I was like you guys, and now I'm not. I can tell you the same thing that our mommys and daddys told us almost a bajillion years ago. The playground is not the same anymore. The big kids can share their toys, or push us off the swing set. But the same problem our mommys and daddys had when they were little kids is still a problem all around the playground-- I was told that toys do not come from Santa, but from our parents. You guys better not forget that we are the kids of our moms and dads. Pass it on, to your best friends and kids you don't like, that our parents gave us this playground-- born in 2009, immune to chicken pox, punished by daddy, proud of being the line-leader, and not able to let other kids join in our kickball games. Tell the kids from the other playgrounds, whether they like us or not, that we will help our friends, and beat up our enemies, to make sure that we will always have the best playground. We pledge allegiance, to the flag-- and other stuff too. To the big kids that share their toys with us, we will say the Pledge of Allegiance with you. If we work together, we can reach the cookie jar on the top of the fridge. If we don't work together... well, I can't reach all the way up the fridge by myself. To the new playgrounds, we promise that the other big kids will not take over the swing set like they did last time. I hope that the little kids are able to keep the big kids off of the mulch because everybody knows that's hot lava-- and I hope they remember that the kids that tried to ride on Old Man Jenkins' dog got bitten. To our little sisters, we promise to change the nice things we say to nice things we do. Tell the kids on the slide that we will stop the big kids from pushing them down it. And tell everyone else