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Robin Hood and the Babes in the Wood Script ME

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Robin Hood and the Babes in the Wood Script ME
Robin Hood and the Babes in the Wood Script

Prologue
Cold open to the ending the Merry Men escape from their chains and there is a massive fight featuring everyone onstage the same as the one at the end!

Puck: Yes, He journeyed through the forest
To find a band of merry men
He tried to cross a bridge
Guarded by Little John and then

Back to vamp
Little John: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Robin: Who do you think you are Gandalf?!

Little John: I AM NOT A CONJUROR OF CHEAP TRICKS!

Robin: Oh come on, good sir, let me have safe passage across this bridge I am on a quest to find a band of brave warriors to join me stealing from the rich and giving to the poor!

Little John: (like a SatNav) Toll Charge

Robin: I am Robin of Loxley - former lord of this land!

Little John: Uh, no. Sorry, but a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll, and if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls…I made that up.

Robin: It's very fascinating. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to hurt you - you leave me with no choice, I shall have to best you in battle with quarterstaves!

Little John: Pah! I am the greatest stick fighter this side of Wessex!

Robin Hood: what's that?

Little John: It's my 1/8 staff

Robin Hood: don't you mean quarterstaff

Little John: no it's slightly shorter cos I am little John. It's ironic you see like DJ Ironik or like RAAAAAIIIINNNNNN ON YOUR WEDDING DAY ITS A FREE RIDE WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY PAID! Nah! Just kidding this is the only one they had left in the shop! You just can't get a staff these days!

Robin: Listen, I came here to drink milk and kick ass, and I've just finished my milk!

They fight and Robin knocks John off the bridge!

Little John: Well, that was embarrassing! What is your name?

Robin: The names Hood, Robin Hood

Little John: How are you feeling?

Robin: Shaken, not stirred - Nothing can compare to the terror of the crusades!

Little John: You just come back from the crusades. And you’re alive?

Robin: Yes.

Little John: You are so
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