Preview

Practical Book Review of Petersen Text

Powerful Essays
Open Document
Open Document
1643 Words
Grammar
Grammar
Plagiarism
Plagiarism
Writing
Writing
Score
Score
Practical Book Review of Petersen Text
Practical Book Review of Petersen Text
Lori Edwards Azuru
Liberty University

Summary
James Petersen (2007) illustrates an innovative way of communicating in the book, Why Don’t We Listen Better? Communicating and Connecting in Relationships. This book is divided into five sections. In part one Petersen (2007) discusses the “Flat-Brain Theory of Emotions” (p. 10-11). This is his way of explaining what occurs when one is overcome with emotions, and can no longer communicate with clarity. Petersen (2007) then illustrates in his book what he envisions to be the stomach (emotions), heart (objectives and interpretations), and the head (which is where we draw our logical conclusions), to resemble. Flat brain occurs when one’s stomach is filled to capacity with uncomfortable emotions and feelings (Petersen, 2007). This in return then upwardly impacts the heart, resulting in squashing the brain; therefore causing it to go flat. He then reminds the reader that one has a choice to become defensive, and be overtaken by this phenomenon, or to collaborate with those who are involved, to bring about a positive outcome. In part two, “the talker listening process”, is how Petersen (2007) describes the method of relieving the symptoms of flat brain; this process involves “taking turns talking and listening” (p. 49). Petersen (2007) also discusses “stomach talk”, meaning that one is only allowed to share his or her own insecurities, rather than blaming others (p. 78). He warns his readers that “sharing and thinking is risky business”, however, worth it in exchange for a more cherished relationship (p. 82). Petersen (2007) then uses the recipe of “two parts personal and one part logical”, to balance the scales of communication (p. 85). In part three Petersen (2007), introduces several “listening techniques” to

You May Also Find These Documents Helpful

  • Better Essays

    One of the most important concepts of humanity is Interpersonal communication. Our communication skills vary from one person to the next. There are many ways that we communicate in society with one another. Communication consists of verbal or nonverbal communication. Each individual has a unique style to communicate with society that it’s made up of diversity. Emotions are powerful feelings that may change the emotional well-being of a person. Emotions range from the feeling of joy, happiness, fear, sadness, anger, hate. Feelings will define the happy life journey of one person or the destruction of another.…

    • 881 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    Arlie Hochschild

    • 1586 Words
    • 7 Pages

    Drawing on the work of Arlie Hochschild, I will argue that Hochschild’s theory of emotion management best describes my experience. Emotions were internally judged by myself and therefore, attempted to changed based on the cultural context I was in and the interaction I was engaged in. This essay will discuss how emotion work occurred during an everyday interaction to maintain feeling rules. Therefore, changing the display of emotion appropriate for the situation. Emotion work as Hochschild calls is explains the psychological and emotional changes a person undergoes to supress the emotions they’re feeling. (Turner & Stets 2005, 36) Emotions try to physically change how they feel through body work and surface acting. Followed through by deep…

    • 1586 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    James C. Peterson, author of Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships, through trial and error learned the value of communication balancing in which he found that the counselor must listen awhile, talk until the other person stops hearing and then listen until the person calms enough to hear again.(Peterson, 2007 Pg. 5) This concept is enlarged into a process in which Peterson calls the flat-brain syndrome. The purpose of the writing of this book according to Peterson was to assist couples in gaining the communication skills needed to improve their relationship. In this book Peterson says to make personal connection with people communication skills need to involve the stomach, which puts our feelings into words, the heart which makes clear that we are putting our own feelings into words and the head which puts our thoughts into words. (Peterson, 2007 Pg. 16) Peterson says that he uses the flat-brain syndrome to understand the problem of failed communication. Peterson explains “communication is the lubrication designed to keep our functions of stomach, heart, and head working separately and together” (Peterson 2007, Pg. 16).…

    • 1427 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    Petersen’s book starts by exlpaining the Flat Brain Theory of Emotions. This shows how hard it is to communicate properly when our emotions are so out of control. It actually shows how good listening can often get us back to a healthy place when it comes to our emotions. The book also discusses the use of the Talker Listener Card (TLC). The TLC helps aid in a healthy give and take of talking to one another, while keeping us in check to listen first and then talk. The book also gives those listening techniques mentioned earlier, but the great thing is it also teaches how to use those techniques and what else to watch out for when it comes to communication traps. This book is an aid to people not just trying to better communicate to other individuals, but to groups and…

    • 1159 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    As Epley states in Close relationships sometimes mask poor communication, we have an “illusion” of how another person might respond to a statement we have made to them when in fact they respond in a completely different way and just the opposite. “Our problem in communicating with friends and spouses is that we have an illusion of insight” (HealthDay News, 2011). We tend to want a positive reaction…

    • 602 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Better Essays

    Most couples get married with the idea that they will somehow live a blissful happy ever after life. Most never realize that the wedding is only a ceremony, a snapshot in time of overwhelming joy and exhilaration soon to lose its luster to the dross of selfishness and many other relationship killers. Marriage, on the other hand is a marathon not a sprint, a lifetime of two people intentionally working to live together and become one. God proclaimed to the first man that he, “shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Gen 2:24) God’s intent for marriage is intimacy. The Hebrew word used here in Genesis is (דָּבַק, dabaq , daw-bak), which simply means to cling or adhere to. Couples are commanded by God to get to know one another in a special closeness to the point they are as “one flesh.” Adam’s sin caused God to pronounce a curse on the intimacy of the relationship that would affect couples until this day. God pronounced a curse upon the relationship between Adam and Eve. (Gen 3:16). It may be debated exactly what the curse meant, but it is clear that the dynamic of the relationship between man and woman had now changed. Ronald Hawkins in his book, “Strengthening Martial Intimacy” lays out a biblical based roadmap on how to regain and…

    • 2014 Words
    • 9 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    In Part One, Petersen creates a “Flat Brain Theory of Emotions” that explains how our mind works and what goes on with it to make us act the way we do and in the manner we communicate to others. “In my experience, understanding how this mixture of thinking and feeling affects us and our relationships goes a long way towards reducing our clashes and disconnections. It gives clues about how to communicate our concerns and how to listen so others can calm down, think, and act more clearly” (11).…

    • 1618 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Better Essays

    Why Dont We Listen Better

    • 1562 Words
    • 7 Pages

    James Petersen very simply uses “five major divisions” (Petersen 2007, 8) to assist us in learning how to communicate better. A very big focus in doing this is to encourage listening skills in all parties. The first is his concept of “the flat-brain theory of emotions” (Petersen, 10) in which he talks about the emotions associated with the stomach, the heart and the head and how they are to work together to change our behavior. “One simple theory of behavior suggests that we humans move from a state of bother to a state of calm….We get curious(bothered), we jump on the internet…(behavior), we get the info, and we relax (calm).”(15). This is when all three are working correctly and communicating well. Petersen discusses why these do not always work correctly in the world stage. In this same section he discusses communication as two levels. “Level one communication gives and receives information and discusses points of view.”(18). “Level two goes deeper than words. It moves us toward more satisfying relationships.”(19). He also brings up two ideas, “the flat-brain syndrome”(23) and the “flat-brain tango”(33). The flat-brain…

    • 1562 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Better Essays

    The theories which Petersen has developed, thus presents as a means to introduce, and illustrate common communication pitfalls begins with the notion of what he calls “The Flat Brain Theory of Emotions” (p. 10). I translated this theory to be a means of understanding the common errors which take place when an individual’s combined thoughts, and emotions, fail to convey the message which they are attempting to impart upon whom they are communicating. The messages within the brain, get construed with the emotions which are give us sensations at the pit of…

    • 2043 Words
    • 9 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    Jim Peterson’s book outlines a very informative and simplistic way to becoming a better listener. Peterson has come up with the idea of sharing a card that allows the talker and the listener to take turns sharing their ideas. He stated three part on how people communicate: stomach, heart, and head. First is the stomach which consist of the feelings and emotions those inner nudges that let us know when we are uncomfortable, happy, excited, interested, attracted, irritable, angry, resentful, frustrated, curious, and any other feelings that humans have. The Second is the heart which when operating properly gives and receives concern, suggestions, support, and also consider possibilities. The third is the head which process the thinking and logical functions (Peterson, 11). Peterson summed it all up by combining the three together to develop the “flat brain” syndrome, he showed that when the stomach is full of different emotions it swells and pushes the heart that makes the brain go flat. This is a way of someone getting out everything they feel at that moment and then return back to their normal state of mind.…

    • 1641 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Good Essays

    For forty years, Peterson focused on speaking at communication workshops and to couples. He dedicates his life to counseling and pastoral ministry. Peterson wrote Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and connecting in relationships to help couples gain the communication skills needed and improve their relationship. In the book Peterson introduced the flat brain theory in which he uses this theory to understand the problem of failed communication. The theory also shows how and why tense situations get us upset and what to do about it. He discusses where the stomach, heart, and head fit in the Flat-Brain Theory of Emotions. He stated that, “Communication is the lubrication designed to keep our functions of stomach, heart, and head working separately and together” (Peterson 2007, 16).…

    • 1662 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Peterson’s uses a variety of situation and scenarios to support a theory called the “flat brain theory of emotion.” Basically the author theorizes that emotion, both positive and negative, delay communication thus shaping relationships. According to Peterson we communicate using our stomach, heart, and brain. Each one affects the ability to recognize what is really happening during communication. He gives examples of how emotions outweighing each other and how they affect our vision, responses, and how we listen. To understand “flat brain syndrome” he compares unhealthy communication to a courtroom scenario. Courtroom dialogue is very defensive and attack like in nature, each party trying to win. Peterson believes that if are able to properly express our emotions without attacking and listen without becoming defensive it will benefit us in any relationship.…

    • 1647 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    com worksheet

    • 544 Words
    • 3 Pages

    Explains why parties to communication experience conflicting pulls that cause relationships to be in a constant state of flux. The closer individuals become to one another, the more conflict arises to pull them apart.…

    • 544 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    Difficult Conversations

    • 352 Words
    • 2 Pages

    Great concepts on how communication goes and misses our intended mark. I believe most people begin communicating with the best of intentions, then let their emotions get in the way to forget what the intended outcomes were. Understanding our own emotions, most of us are lost are lost but at the end we all want what’s best for ourselves and what’s best for ourselves is to get along with everyone. This is something that I have pondered and wondered for quite some time now. I often struggled with the reasons why people were confrontational. It made no sense to put any one down or say they are in the wrong. I always have been told treat people well with kindness and respect. But communication is defined as a process by which we assign and convey meaning in an attempt to create shared understanding. This process requires a vast repertoire of skills in an attempt to create shared understanding. This process requires a vast repertoire of skills in intrapersonal and interpersonal processing, listening, observing, speaking, questioning, analyzing, and evaluating. A difficult conversation is any conversation that you dread and perhaps seek to avoid, if possible. There are the situations that keep you up at night in anticipation that you put off or face up to like bad medicine.…

    • 352 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    The Story of Us

    • 929 Words
    • 4 Pages

    “The story of us” is an excellent movie that portrays the roller-coaster of marriage in a humorous and cleaver way. The film reiterates the key concepts we have learned in our interpersonal communication class, in particular chapters ten and eleven on conflict management and improving communication climates. According to Gibb people feel defensive when they perceive that they are under attack. When defensive responses arise in interpersonal communications, it is the relationship itself that becomes defensive. This is evident in the Jordan’s communication patterns, the majority of exchanges between Ben and Katie are hostile and resentful. Fighting is not an uncommon sight. Ben is spontaneous, romantic and impulsive, with low frustration tolerance and an explosive hair trigger temper. Katie is pragmatic, a compulsive perfectionist with unrealistic expectations, and a high need for control. She takes everything personally and never forgives or forgets a slight. They both blame each other for their disappointments. The pattern is clear. He doesn't meet her standards so she snipes, he explodes and then she accuses him of not listening. She then throws up every mistake he's ever made and every fault he's ever had. This goes on ad nauseam as their romantic obsession with one another continues to get the best of any sense they might have to call it quits. Like moths to a flame, they keep returning for another scorching.…

    • 929 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays