My Silent War: Fighting Fibromyalgia
Description Essay
October 4, 2013
My Silent War
There’s a silent war brewing inside me and I refuse to allow this invader to win: an invisible threat that has tried to claim victory over my life, for the past four years. A war I’m still trying to analyze and accept. However, I am not alone. There is a mysterious battalion of soldiers living amongst each other invisibly, fighting an unpredictable battle. A camouflage war that should bear no entitlement on us, a war that is known to me as, “My Silent War”. My body is under attack. An attack I am all too familiar with. It feels as if an explosive has detonated in my head. I am disoriented and struggling to get my thoughts together. The pain is intense and crippling. I tilt my head back, and rest it on the headboard hoping for relief. I shut my eyes, and gently place my hands on my temples. As I begin to massage my temples, the invader silently enters into my thoughts and begins to taunt me, “You deserve everything you get, he whispers”. “It doesn’t matter how you try to escape me, I will be here. I will be here today, tomorrow, and for the remainder of your life”. Trying to ignore the whisper, I grab two Advil off the nearby nightstand, and wash them down with a sip of coffee. I squeeze my eyes tight, and begin to feel tears burn the back of my eyelids. My thoughts begin to become tainted with feelings of despair, hopelessness and sorrow. I open my eyes, and standing within arm’s reach of me, is my ten year old son. I choke back my tears, force myself to smile and reach out for a hug.
I squeeze my son tightly and for a fraction of a second I feel at ease. Within that second, my smile slowly disappears along with the presence of my son. I run both hands through my hair and begin to cry uncontrollably. My gut-wrenching howls become louder and louder so I cover my mouth to conceal the sound. This internal chaos I am feeling sends my body into violent convulsions as if I’m suffering from a
October 4, 2013
My Silent War
There’s a silent war brewing inside me and I refuse to allow this invader to win: an invisible threat that has tried to claim victory over my life, for the past four years. A war I’m still trying to analyze and accept. However, I am not alone. There is a mysterious battalion of soldiers living amongst each other invisibly, fighting an unpredictable battle. A camouflage war that should bear no entitlement on us, a war that is known to me as, “My Silent War”. My body is under attack. An attack I am all too familiar with. It feels as if an explosive has detonated in my head. I am disoriented and struggling to get my thoughts together. The pain is intense and crippling. I tilt my head back, and rest it on the headboard hoping for relief. I shut my eyes, and gently place my hands on my temples. As I begin to massage my temples, the invader silently enters into my thoughts and begins to taunt me, “You deserve everything you get, he whispers”. “It doesn’t matter how you try to escape me, I will be here. I will be here today, tomorrow, and for the remainder of your life”. Trying to ignore the whisper, I grab two Advil off the nearby nightstand, and wash them down with a sip of coffee. I squeeze my eyes tight, and begin to feel tears burn the back of my eyelids. My thoughts begin to become tainted with feelings of despair, hopelessness and sorrow. I open my eyes, and standing within arm’s reach of me, is my ten year old son. I choke back my tears, force myself to smile and reach out for a hug.
I squeeze my son tightly and for a fraction of a second I feel at ease. Within that second, my smile slowly disappears along with the presence of my son. I run both hands through my hair and begin to cry uncontrollably. My gut-wrenching howls become louder and louder so I cover my mouth to conceal the sound. This internal chaos I am feeling sends my body into violent convulsions as if I’m suffering from a