My Biggest Mistake
My Biggest Mistake
I never knew when it started, this obsession. Didn’t even realize how slowly and steadily what I thought I could control controlled me. I am not like most people my likes, dislikes and feelings differ from most of the crowd. When did I become someone who cared so much what other people think of me? Now that I think about it, it baffles me how I slowly and steadily from being an individual who preaches about being different suddenly became someone who just wanted to fit in to other people’s expectations. And suddenly I feel I woke up to realize what kind of a slave I had become.
Well to start up on my mistakes, my first one was ever thinking that I can be in a relationship with my best friend. I screwed that up pretty hard. Not only did I hurt him and myself, cried a thousand times over it and ruin what should have been my priority but I also ruined that beautiful friendship we had. Now we are just two people who are so far apart. People who text each other just for the sake of it not to lose contact. It could have been better between us I suppose if we had never gone into this so called relationship. Who had ever said that you are mature enough to handle such stuff at such a young age. Thinking back I was an idiot to have ever hoped and wished and prayed so hard for this to happen. Just to have been miserable, jealous and angry half the time I was with him. Well that ended up pretty soon in about a year of an on and off relationship.
Again I should have steered cleared of this stuff but no I didn’t. It’s funny how such distractions happen especially when you so are trying to concentrate on much more important stuff. The second one was during my board exams. This was also the time I was working really hard to crack my entrance exam to get into a college that would make my future. But no like a dumb bitch I fell. I fell hard.
Now this new one treated me like dirt. Would make me feel like I was an unimportant part of this world. Like I lacked
I never knew when it started, this obsession. Didn’t even realize how slowly and steadily what I thought I could control controlled me. I am not like most people my likes, dislikes and feelings differ from most of the crowd. When did I become someone who cared so much what other people think of me? Now that I think about it, it baffles me how I slowly and steadily from being an individual who preaches about being different suddenly became someone who just wanted to fit in to other people’s expectations. And suddenly I feel I woke up to realize what kind of a slave I had become.
Well to start up on my mistakes, my first one was ever thinking that I can be in a relationship with my best friend. I screwed that up pretty hard. Not only did I hurt him and myself, cried a thousand times over it and ruin what should have been my priority but I also ruined that beautiful friendship we had. Now we are just two people who are so far apart. People who text each other just for the sake of it not to lose contact. It could have been better between us I suppose if we had never gone into this so called relationship. Who had ever said that you are mature enough to handle such stuff at such a young age. Thinking back I was an idiot to have ever hoped and wished and prayed so hard for this to happen. Just to have been miserable, jealous and angry half the time I was with him. Well that ended up pretty soon in about a year of an on and off relationship.
Again I should have steered cleared of this stuff but no I didn’t. It’s funny how such distractions happen especially when you so are trying to concentrate on much more important stuff. The second one was during my board exams. This was also the time I was working really hard to crack my entrance exam to get into a college that would make my future. But no like a dumb bitch I fell. I fell hard.
Now this new one treated me like dirt. Would make me feel like I was an unimportant part of this world. Like I lacked