Mindful Listening Skill in High School

MINDFUL LISTENING SKILL IN HIGH SCHOOL IN AMERICAN AND VIETNAM Mindful listening skill is an important characteristic that can solve some constructive intercultural conflict management. The question is ‘What should intercultural conflict parties do?’ In my opinion, there are “listen mindfully to each other” and “listen responsively”. Warrilow (2011) points out that “Mindful listening is when you are not thinking and you remain fully present whilst the other person is speaking”. It is very effective to listen carefully and responsively during the communication or debate. The method can help someone understand each other. Through the method, their opponents can feel that you are listening attentively, also “listen responsively” show how much you care and understand your partner issue and give a best answer for your conversation to avoid intercultural conflict. For instance, after you hear your friend says about her/him problem, you must analyze word by word to understand what problem that your partner have and evaluate your partner situation to give her/him a best answer. You should focus on listening responsively to the “sound, tone, gestures, movement, pauses, nonverbal nuances and silence” (Le Thi Thanh Hoa, 2011, p. 43). Another definition, “Mindful listening requires paying attention to the person you are listening to, which means actually being in the present moment and not thinking about the past, future, or attempting to multitask and perform other actions” . (Charlie Scott, 2010, The SANS Institute – Get out of Your Own Head: Mindful Listening for Project Managers, p.4). In high school, teenage always have conflict conversation because of lacking mindful listen skill. They do not have a comprehensive development in their mind so mindful listening skill can help them to avoid the conflict conversation between them and their friends. In Vietnam, lacking mindful listening skill can lead to conflict conversation even fighting between students in high school in Vietnam. Mindful listening shows how to respect the person you are talking to and that you are interested in the conversation. You should listen responsively and if you don’t, you may make the thing worse and disappoint the speaker; and therefore he or she may misunderstand you and even behave so badly. According to the document of Ministry of Education, from 2009 up to now, all schools in Vietnam have punished more than 900 students, made about 730 students leave school and warned more than 1.600 students who have taken in fighting inside and outside the school, especially in the school year 2009-2010 there were 7 murders carried out by students. This fact shows that the number of violent students lacking mindful listening skill so they misunderstanding each other and this leads to conflict conversation even death. Just by wrong nonverbal nuances, you can make the person you are talking with feel uncomfortable. This is one of the reasons leading to the fight inside and outside school. There are many reasons that make Vietnamese high school students lack mindful listening skill. “Many common symptoms of poor listening, such as interrupting other speakers, come from a deeper cause: communication anxiety” (Michael Webb, 2008, Mindful listening). Some of Vietnamese students are arrogant so they usually interrupt other speakers because they want to prove them self to be superior to others. For instance, On March 3rd 2012, student Pham Tuong Vi hit the classmate Nguyen Quynh Anh – Tran Nhan Tong junior high school because Nguyen Quynh Anh interrupted Pham Tuong Vi while Vi was saying in front of the crowd of people (Thanhnienonline, 2012, Tim cach giam bao luc hoc duong). If lacking mindful listening skill continues, there will be more and more violent actions inside and outside school in Vietnam. One of the most important solutions to this problem is the family background. Parents can teach their children the way how to listen responsively to each other so that the children can behave well in their school. The next solution is putting mindful listening skill in the curriculum in high schools. In summary, mindful listening skill is limited in Vietnamese high schools. In America, parents always teach their children how to listen to each other. Therefore, America high school students know how to pay attention to the conversation to avoid the conflict conversation. Furthermore, American students know that mindful listening in action. One of the most common effects of communication anxiety is its impact on attention. A person suffering communication anxiety will have difficulty summoning the attentive resources to participate fully in a conversation. Anxiety diminishes the amount of working memory available for cognitive functioning, such as for analytical thinking skills. Anxiety also diminishes the mind's ability for sustain attention on a given subject. Anxiety makes the mind noisy, skittish, and relatively unreceptive. The profile of the typical distracted listener in today's world is a person wracked with communication anxiety. Through mindful listening, a person becomes aware of feelings, motivations, and assumptions that would otherwise lurk beneath the horizon of consciousness due simply to lack of attention. Mindful listening reminds us to turn attention to what has become invisible through haste or neglect. “The greater the level of mindful listening, the less life goes by on autopilot” (Michael Webb, 2008, Mindful listening). According to Rebecca Shafir, “Mindful listening skill can make major changes in the way you process information, negotiate, and lead.” The reason that America high school student can become a mindful listener is listening with an open mind. This does not mean that they have to agree with what is being sad, but rather that they must avoid defensiveness. Another way to think of it is to go into an interaction ready to consider new viewpoints and ideas. The other reason is Attempt to find a connection to or personal interest in the speaker’s topic. Develop an attitude that there is always something potentially interesting or valuable to be gleaned, even if that means confirmation that they don’t find something interesting or valuable. Finding connections and personal interest requires self-discipline, but maintaining a positive attitude is essential to being a good listener, especially in those situations where America high school students would rather not listen. In Conclusion, both Vietnam and America have difference ways of learn mindful listening skill because of different traditions and customs. However, mindful listening skill has great impact on the lifestyle of both countries.