Masking Poor Communication

Masking Poor Communication
Christina Ladd Interpersonal Communication
Danielle Doud
03/10/2013

It is human nature to communicate and it is a very important part of life; in order to complete or do anything communication is needed. Communication can be verbal or non verbal, either way there is communication. Berlo states: “When we communicate, we interact with one another, and this interaction or ongoing activity of engaging each other in communication, changes each of us and changes our relationship to one another” Sole (2010), this where we start to develop relationships with one another and communication seems to be taken for granted, close interaction with one another leads us to believe that others know or understand what we are saying even when we are unclear.
In life most people engage in interpersonal communication, communication between two people a husband and wife or two friends hanging out together. In interpersonal communication we create a bias, believing that because we are close to someone they will understand our needs or wants for example “"A wife who says to her husband, 'it 's getting hot in here, ' as a hint for her husband to turn up the air conditioning a notch, may be surprised when he interprets her statement as a coy, amorous advance instead," Savitsky (2011).
In my interpersonal relationship with my husband, I do take for granted that he just knows what I mean when I speak even when I am short or unclear, he may hear me say something like “well you know what I mean”. In the beginning of our relationship we lived in California where I am from, so because we lived in California we made frequent visits to Las Vegas, to visit his family. In the beginning I was fine, but as time went on and the visits became more frequent, I became bitter about the trips, but never said anything. When my husband would say we were going to take a trip to Las Vegas, I would simply go pack with no enthusiasm figuring that he would take notice and say let’s stay home. This was a classic sign of me thinking that this is my husband and he can tell I do not want to go out of town. The belief that he knew me, allowed me to become upset during the three hour drive, I would not speak, I would turn my face the other way; I was communicating with him, just not clearly. There were about two additional trips like this before he asked why I was acting this way; because of my lack of communication we argued about the last few trips. My husband made it clear that I must express my wants and needs to him, that I cannot just expect him to read my mind.
I did learn to communicate better from that experience, but in order to ensure we do not have that type of misunderstanding again, I will be sure that as a sender of the information that I make my intentions and needs clear and concise, doing my best to not leave anything out. In communicating with my husband, I also feel that I do need to be aware of the emotional intelligence between the two of us, ensuring that we are “increasing our awareness of emotional issues and improve our ability to identify and assess, and manage our feelings” Sole (2010).
In our human nature we desire to communicate with others so that we may form a connection, but once we have formed that connection we take for granted that others just understand us. As the sender of the information it is our responsibility to ensure that our wants and needs are clearly stated; not stated in a manner where someone feels they must decode what we are saying, and that we consider their feedback if feedback is required and most importantly I believe we must be aware of the emotional concerns of others as well as manage our own emotions.

References:
Close relationships sometimes mask poor communication. (2011, U.S.News & World Report, 1. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/852775455?accountid=32521
Sole, K. (2011).Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc.

References: Close relationships sometimes mask poor communication. (2011, U.S.News & World Report, 1. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/852775455?accountid=32521 Sole, K. (2011).Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc.