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Living Life on Repeat

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Living Life on Repeat
Jordan Sutter
Creative Writing
December 17, 2012

Living Life on Repeat

People don’t understand that my life can be a struggle
I hide the pain.
And try to live my life normally
But when I push my health aside
I end up with more complications
I never thought that with a drop of blood
That with a single drop of blood
My life would be changed forever
My life is stuck on repeat
Wake up test my blood sugar
Take my insulin.
Go to lunch
Test my blood sugar
Take my insulin
Sit at the dinner table
Test my blood sugar
Take my insulin
Get ready for bed
Test my blood sugar
Take my insulin
This is what I have been living by
This has been my life for the past five years
This schedule is the diabetic’s ritual
It’s the only constancy with my diabetes
My blood sugar spikes
Keytones appear
I become thirsty
Lethargy takes over my body My blood sugar drops
My hands shake
I become unsteady
My words don’t make sense
Stubbornness overcomes me
I yell at my parents “I’m Not Low!”
I just don’t want them to be right
This is the fight I battle everyday
People always tell me
“Does that hurt?”
“I could never give myself a shot.”
They don’t understand my position
I never chose this disease
It’s a burden
And it chose me
I never wanted to take multiple shots a day
But I take the shots because I have to
I take these shots so I can live
I’m jealous of all of you,
You can do whatever,
You don’t even have to think twice
That’s the life I once had
But I knew this was coming
It is in my family genetics
I have seen what it does to you
My mom having a heart attack
Having 6 bypasses at the age of 44
My grandma having numerous strokes
Fighting till the end
So I have seen the things it can do to me
But I won’t let it do things to me
So know this is my life
My diabetes doesn’t make me
It plays a part in my life
But doesn’t control my life
That is my part in controlling my
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