Preview

Language Style Matching

Better Essays
Open Document
Open Document
1335 Words
Grammar
Grammar
Plagiarism
Plagiarism
Writing
Writing
Score
Score
Language Style Matching
Language Style Matching
Charles Porter
COM 200 Interpersonal Communication
Instructor: William Cusack
June 25, 2012

The reading this week caused me to do some thinking outside of the box. It made me think more on the level of my relationship with my current girlfriend versus my conversations with other people. Since my girlfriend and I have been dating a little over a year, and we almost never argue about anything, it was hard for me to fathom that there could be a breakdown in communication between us because of our language style. Below, I will compare the article versus my findings of the language style matching test results. I found the article to be somewhat accurate, but also slightly out of the realm of reality. In the article, it is written in regard of function words that “Unconscious verbal coordination of this sort, dubbed language-style matching by the researchers, signifies not how much two people like each other but how much each is paying attention to what the other says (Bower, 2010)”. I agree with this merely because if two people are conversing and not paying attention to one another, they will not notice the proper functions words to correspond with. To me, this means that if two people are talking, and are in a relationship, they should have similar function words or pronouns. What seemed inaccurate about this accurate was the idea that such words would fuel romance. Whereas I do agree that people that talk the same would have a better chance of getting along in a relationship, it does not provide any proof that the groups that were tested in the studies, stayed together longer than three months. This does not justify romance to me. Our commonalities and comparable verbal techniques do initially bring us together; I agree with that part of the article. However, in order to continue on into a loving relationship there has to be something more, something deeper to keep that connection. Whether it is a love for the same hobbies



References: Bower, B. (2010, November 22). Shared talking styles herald new and lasting romance. U.S. News & World Report. Retrieved June 24,2012, from ProQuest database. (Document ID: 2223940991). Sole, K. (2011).Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc. (https://content.ashford.edu)

You May Also Find These Documents Helpful

  • Good Essays

    In the article, “But What Do You Mean?”, author Deborah Tannen discusses what she has observed to be differences in ways that women and men communicate. She concludes by stating that neither communication style in incorrect, however, to alleviate miscommunication women and men should use language that is understood by both parties. While I don’t disagree with Tannen’s observations I find some flaws with her solution. Women and men are not significantly different, as recent brain studies have shown, I believe that the differing socialization of women and men as children breeds the stylistic communication differences Tannen describes. So while limiting one’s speech to common language may work in a pinch, there is a long term solution that could…

    • 1333 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    Use the ProQuest database to locate and read the article entitled, “Shared Talking Styles Herald New and Lasting Romance”. Then, visit the Language Style Matching website and, using sample written communication between you and another person, follow the directions on the website to retrieve your language style matching score. Write a two-page paper (excluding title and reference pages) about your thoughts on this article and your language style matching score. In your paper, be sure to address the following:…

    • 474 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Better Essays

    Unit 1-7 Test

    • 1676 Words
    • 7 Pages

    | claims that when another group is attractive and powerful, we adapt our communication style to their speech behaviors and norms…

    • 1676 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    Some research show that women engage in more relationship talks than men; they talk more about relationships in general and about the present relationship in particular. Men engage in more content talk; they talk more about things external to the relationship (Wood, 1994; Pearson, West, & Turner’ 1995).…

    • 215 Words
    • 1 Page
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    Amy Tan's excerpt Mother Tongue focuses on her use of different Englishes when she was surrounded by different people. When surrounded by strangers, Tan spoke fluently in grammatically sophisticated English. However, Tan referred to the English she used with her mother as being a broken down, limited version of the English language. Despite this description, Tan didn't entirely agree with what these chosen adjectives suggested about her mother's English & intelligence. Tan's description of the different kinds of Englishes she found herself using reminded me of my own varied English use.…

    • 344 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    Deborah Tannen once said, “Conversation between women and men is cross-cultural communication.” By this, she is trying to explain that both men and women speak in different manners. The same exact thing applies to age, ethnicity, gender, race, geography, subculture, language, and occupation. The way one perceives their words is distinguished by their past along with various other reasoning’s. It’s also part of our human nature to adapt to certain communication styles based on the ways we were brought up as children and the environments we stayed in throughout life. Beside communication, miscommunication also occurs with these differences in language.…

    • 331 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    In Amy Tan’s essay, “Mother Tongue,” Tan expresses that she uses different versions of the English language depending on the type of relationship she shares with particular individuals. While Tan gave a speech to a group of people, she noticed a difference in her register of speech when she spoke to a group of people versus when she spoke to her mother. She noticed her use of “carefully wrought grammatical phrases” and “the forms of standard English that I had learned in school through books,” the forms of English she “did not use” with her mother. Tan continued by explaining that it was not until recently that she began to see that she speaks to members of her family very differently from the way she speaks to people outside…

    • 280 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    When Harry Met Sally

    • 1668 Words
    • 7 Pages

    The film “When Harry Met Sally” is rife with examples of interpersonal communication victories and utter failures. The main characters- Harry Burns played by Billy Crystal and Sally Albright played by Meg Ryan- are captive to each other’s company during a car ride from Chicago to New York and quickly find they maintain very opposite viewpoints on much of life, especially relationships between men and women. The premise for the argument and the remainder of the film is the disagreement as to whether or not women and men can be friends without sex getting in the way. Harry maintains it is not possible, and Sally takes the opposite position. Throughout the film Harry and Sally display a number of different communication traits. Their style of communication is determined largely by the way they regard themselves and the way they perceive others. These factors of communication provide for a rollercoaster of interactions throughout the film.…

    • 1668 Words
    • 7 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Good Essays

    While at home, Tan speaks to her mother in a “broken” sort of choppy English that she can understand. When she is talking to people she works with or deals with on a more business-oriented basis, she uses clearly spoken, grammatically correct, standard English. It was not until giving a speech in a room that her mother was a part of that she finally realized how different her two forms of English really…

    • 778 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    When Harry Met Sally

    • 2219 Words
    • 8 Pages

    The movie starts out with Harry and Amanda hugging and kissing. They look like a…

    • 2219 Words
    • 8 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    The way women converse varies greatly from the way men tend to converse. Even young girls and boys have very different ways of communicating with one another. Young children tend to play with other children of the same gender, and the boys and girls tend to have completely different social interactions with one another. Tannen states that “these systematic differences in childhood socialization make talk between women and men like cross-cultural communication, heir to all the attraction and pitfalls of that enticing but difficult enterprise (51).” We see in women and in young girls, talk creates intimacy and intimacy creates friendships, but men and boys tend to bond more on doing things with one another rather than talking to each other. Even the stance men take when talking varies from a woman’s.…

    • 650 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    References: Chapman, G. (2010). The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. Chicago, IL:…

    • 2972 Words
    • 12 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    When Harry first meets Sally, they look really different. From the very beginning scene, they argue as they have different perspectives on the opposite-sex friendships. Nonetheless, they eventually become good friends after they self-disclose their intimate information to each other. However, after their unexpected sex, their relationship becomes awkward. In the end, Harry finally finds out that he loves Sally and reveals his feelings. Over the course of their relationship in the movie When Harry Met Sally, Knapp’s stages of interpersonal communication develop and change.…

    • 714 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    Personal Idioms

    • 1335 Words
    • 6 Pages

    Hopper, R., Knapp, M. L., & Scott, L. (1983). Couples’ personal idioms: Exploring intimate talk.…

    • 1335 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Good Essays

    The goal: testing ability to recognize and produce the correct forms of language ( rather than the ability to use L in actual and purposeful tasks of communication)…

    • 1312 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Good Essays