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I Love Monologue

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I Love Monologue
How is it I love you, and I don't even like you?
If you weren't such a pretty girl,
I would prolly want to fight you
You perturb me, to say the least
But if love is a food to be eaten
What I have is a feast
I don't understand it, how could this be
How come I'm jealous when you're with anyone but me
It's not my place cuz we already settled and moved on in life
The only thing moving on did for me, was to bring me strife
I haven't seen you for months yet you fill my head
At least 15 minutes a day do I wish I was dead
And today is extra long, these feelings for you
I'm so anxious and scared because you'll be here soon
My first love, is far from what you see on TV
And those feelings they fake, me, I have them for real, times three …show more content…
As far as when you are here, it fluctuates. Why is it my feelings are so strong now and not other times? How is it you are so capable of making me so upset, and its just like, I can't stand to listen to you say most anything. But then its as if I forget about all of that and just, well, love you. I feel so childish, I don't want to have the conversations when I'm 40 in the office starting like, "So do you remember your first love?" I want to say, " I don't have to remember, because I'll be seeing my love tonight." I hate the thought that if I was to tell anyone about this situation and my feelings, and if they're older, that they would say, "Oh, you're still young and you'll get over I. Your emotions are still immature." Its like, am I one of those stupid kids? The ones I look at and am like, damn that's annoying, why can't thy just get over it! Then, its like, I think how much my heart over flows with love for you, then I think about your thoughts on the physical and drugs and know that no matter how great my love is and how much it hurts, that, at least about the physical, I wouldn't and shouldn't and couldn't deal with that. That thought just kills me inside, it screws up my whole trying to get out of the depression thing. I mean, I would just want to make love to you till I couldn't move anymore, then hold you and sleep with you. But how could you trust me again if we were to be together, to think I did that to here, what stops me from doing it to you. I hope I don't crack and read/have you read this too soon and you don't want to see me when you're here. I love
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