Hinduism arranged marriage

When people talk about marriage today, many people automatically think about romantic love and “love at first sight.” However, some marriages are not made based off of love; this is called an arranged marriage. Some people think that the idea is repulsive but they do not take into account some of the benefits that may result from arranged marriages. In society today, many are accustomed to romantic love. However, arranged marriages are still being practiced, especially throughout Hinduism. Given the many cons that can result from this practice, there can still be many positive outcomes such as, lower divorce rates, family approval and most often, financial stability.

Divorce rates are lower in arranged marriages as compared to romantic love. This could be due to the idea that it is frowned upon by the families of either spouse due to the dishonor that is said to occur from a divorce, or the idea that after marriage, both people have learned to love one another or cope with each other. For example, romantic love is not always successful because the attraction or awe that once existed in the marriage is no longer there, which leads to unhappiness. “What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility” (Leo Nikolaevich). Nikolaevich states that despite the differences that can result from an arranged marriage, there is still a chance to have a happy marriage as long as both spouses are able to focus on how to cope with each other and their differences. Instead of complaining about differences, look at what they have in common and what helps them get along with one another, and give time to learn to love each other or give each other mutual respect. Furthermore, given that not all marriages by choice end up successful, not all arranged marriages end up miserable and unsuccessful.

Secondly, given the circumstance that parents choose a woman’s groom, a woman would not have to deal with family disapproval with her chosen spouse. It would not be a constant battle of trying to have the groom win over the heart of the bride’s family before being able to wed. To some extent, the parents would be the best at choosing the spouse- simply because they’ve known their child since birth. They know what their child likes, what they despise, and most importantly what they need in life. Despite the fact that parents have a say in who marries who, it is not to be confused with forced marriage, given that the man or woman can deny the offer and continue to look for somebody more suitable, meaning that he or she still has a say and choice of who they marry. So, arranged marriage in the long run would not be so bad on a family standpoint.

Thirdly, arranged marriages often increase the idea of financial stability. In arranged marriages, it is common to consider the financial stability of the potential bride and groom; whether or not they have enough to support a family in the future. This comes as a pro considering that the future spouse and family will sense that they will be able to develop a family whose needs are met in the future. So, no one will have to worry about the financial hardships he/she may endure if he/she were to marry someone with an unstable job or where finances come and go from. Meaning, the idea of bringing up a healthy and well-nurtured family is present, as the couple would have enough to take care of their own family without being a burden on their parents. With that being said, it would help to develop a family whose needs are met and are able to live fully without relying on other people around them.

In conclusion, arranged marriages, like marriage by choice, have the potential to be successful and grow for the better. Although some seem to see arranged marriages as a bad idea, the successfulness of it comes from how you deal with the situation and what you make of it. Your choice of marriage solely depends on what you will make of it and how to deal with it, but people should remember that arranged marriages should not be confused with being forced. Given co-operation from both individuals within the marriage and advice from the parents, it would make a marriage easier to live with, arranged or not. So, arranged marriages, as with marriages with choice, do have a place in today’s society.