The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as ‘to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt.’ However, many philosophers, academics and religious leaders alike, agree that there is more to forgiveness than simply pardoning a person for the acts which they have committed. As Harold Kushner observed, “Forgiving happens inside of us. It represents a letting go of the sense of grievance, and perhaps most importantly (sic) a letting go of the role of victim.” Therefore, if one were to oversimplify ‘true forgiveness,’ ‘true forgiveness’ must encompass two things. Firstly, ‘true forgiveness’ must ‘grant free pardon and give up all claim on account of an offense.’ In other words, ‘true forgiveness,’ must fully absolve the acts of another and thereby relieve a large portion of the guilt and remorse that the person seeking forgiveness feels. Secondly, forgiving another must relieve the personal and internal pain and anguish that the person seeking forgiveness has caused. While we can never forget the acts that the…
The poem “Repentance” by Robert William Service demonstrates that asking for forgiveness is an act of improving one’s self and getting rid of his impurities. As a reader critic, I look at this poem and understand that there is a deeper meaning behind it. The literal meaning is that sins are forgiven and one can always repent. However, the deeper meaning behind it is, repentance means fixing one’s relationship with his fellow peers and resolving the conflicts between them.…
I never really understood the meaning of forgiveness. When people hurt me or treat me badly I always thought the best way to handle it is to hold it in. I never showed anger on the outside but just kept it all in. Instead, I let it boil inside of me. My kind act toward those who hurt me was a shield from my pain. Most of my kind act was at my mother. I blamed my birth mother for every relationship I have ever been in that ended with my hurting the guy or me thinking I am just going to be like my mother and leave him for the next person. Over the years, her actions and mishaps became the victim for my own actions. The fact that I have not yet become a divorcee like her was justification for her being irresponsible, dishonest, and ungrateful. Throughout the years of struggle, dysfunctional relationships, and little to no relationship, I hardly took responsibility for anything that I had done. I laid all my relationship troubles on my birth mother. I call her my birth mother because I never grew up with her but I have met her from time to time. She gave me to my dad when I was seven years old because of another man. I blame my relationship trouble on her because she never had a solid relationship for me to learn from. She…
In The Crucible, by Arthur Miller, one of the main themes is forgiving others. When you forgive others, you free yourself from more hurt. And God commands it.…
Being raised in a Roman Catholic household, I can tell you when it comes to forgiveness I was taught to do the Christian thing. As hard is it might be, I should find it in my heart to forgive those who have hurt me, whether they ask for forgiveness or not. What I had never pondered is the chance that someone might ask me forgiveness for something wrong they have done to someone else. Do I have the right to put them at ease or offer forgiveness? In the book The Sunflower, Simon Wiesenthal, a man who had watched countless of innocent Jews like himself be murdered because of sheer hate, shares his unique story. One that has made me think about the way I view, and use forgiveness.…
“… if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 12:25 NIV). God is expected to forgive his creations, and humans, in their constant struggle to emulate God, follow his teachings. And just as God’s mercy is described as prevailing over his wrath, so in Islam, human to human forgiveness is associated with the control of one’s anger. In fact, one of the characteristics of the Islamic Believer is that “…when they are angry they forgive.” (al-Shura 42:37) Muslims are encouraged to reflect on their own imperfections, and God’s forgiveness for our mistakes, as a reason to offer forgiveness in turn to their fellow humans. Forgiveness among humans is given a high societal value for its ability to heal wounds and promote reconciliation. A similar ideology is expressed in Buddhism, as reflected by the teachings in the Dhammapada. “He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me, he robbed me’ — in those who harbor such thoughts hatred will never cease. ‘He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me, he robbed me’ — in those who do not harbor such thoughts hatred will cease.” Dhammapada…
According to the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of forgive is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. However, there is a deeper meaning to this. Contrary to some of Harold S. Kushner’s statements, I believe that forgiveness is as beneficial for the victim of the crimes as it is for the offender. In fact, I am far more inclined to agree with Jose Hobday’s views. He states that…
To most people, forgiving is seen as simply accepting an apology given by the one who wronged them. However, forgiving is so much more than just that. Forgiving takes such vast quantities of effort, feeling, and, most importantly, love. There is no forgiveness without love. For if you do not really feel the love in your heart for the person who wronged you, how can you give anything more than a grudging acceptance…
To forgive is not to condone, excuse, forget, or even to reconcile. To forgive is to offer mercy to someone who has acted unjustly (Magnuson; and Enright, 2008).…
Magnuson and Enright provide research that show strong evidence for the benefits associated with using a “road map” to learn how to forgive someone and also on how to receive forgiveness. Their evidence suggests that those who have forgiven or received forgiveness also have significant reductions in anger, depression, anxiety, grief, and post-traumatic stress symptoms and increases in self-esteem, hope, positive attitudes, environmental mastery, and finding meaning in suffering . The model that is proposed consists of multiple levels of forgiveness education which takes place at fixed times throughout each year in order…
Forgiveness is defined as a victim undergoing changes in attitude or feelings regarding an offense , and letting go of negative emotions such as vengefulness , with an increased ability to wish the offender well.…
Forgiveness by the World English Dictionary is the “act of forgiving; state of being forgiven, disposition or willingness to forgive”. But what does it really mean? That is my question. Is being able to forgive and not forget the same thing? In my life, I have found that true forgiveness is a quality that separates us from other species and it is what makes us human. In order to truly and sincerely forgive, one must, aside from saying they have forgiven the person, let it go and not hold a grudge against that person. Just, as Mahatma Gandhi once said: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." I believe that holds to be true.…
According to McMinn, forgiving is sometimes excused with excusing. Excusing is casual and routine, but forgiveness requires sustained effort, usually over a long period of time. Any form of interpersonal forgiveness that is portrayed as quick and easy cannot be true forgiveness, though it is also true that forgiveness becomes easier with practice and spiritual development. Forgiveness is sometimes confused with denial or passive acceptance. Passive acceptance emphasizes keeping peace at any cost, even if silent resentments are harbored for years; whereas forgiveness first involves recognizing and grieving over the damage that has been done, then choosing to release the negative emotions associated with the offender. Third, forgiveness is not self-blame. Forgiving another does not require us to accept responsibility for what went wrong. Fourth, forgiveness is not always…
In the second article I chose to read, Hall and Fincham (2005) discuss the concept of self-forgiveness. Their analysis seeks to get to the heart of what it means and essentially what it takes to forgive oneself for wrongdoing and reckless abandon. Enright (1996) defines self-forgiveness as “a willingness to abandon self-resentment in the face of one’s own acknowledged objective wrong, while fostering compassion, generosity, and love toward oneself.” Hall and Fincham (2005) argue that self-forgiveness is an internal and volatile aberration that results in both a retaliatory and benevolent appeal on behalf of the offender. The reason for this is because the offender is in conflict with their ability to do wrong and then compensate with righteous action in rebuttal to their transgression. After the stage of victim identification and reconciliation, avoidance occurs which puts the offender and any sense or notion of wrongdoing they may have had, at peace with themselves (Hall & Fincham, 2005). Furthermore, Hall and Fincham (2005) deduce that self-forgiveness does not imply an exemption from heartache, frustration, or regret. The offender will not magically fail to remember or begin to root for such behavior that should lead to another bout with personal disdain and disappointment. In fact, the offender will undergo extensive self-analysis and even consider the implications of interpersonal forgiveness from oneself toward another had they committed a similar offense. Lastly, Hall and Fincham (2005) give attention to the moral aspects of the self-forgiveness concept. According to Horsbrugh (1974) interpersonal forgiveness is bound by biblical scripture which Jesus himself states that “When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins”…
The purpose of this journal review is to analyze through meta-analysis the intervention techniques of forgiveness. There are existing factors that are used in forgiveness as an intervention tool in counseling is in the early stages of development and fewer studies and research has been conducted to support the effectiveness of meta-analysis. More studies have been completed that showed based on the efficacies of forgiveness interventions within the counseling sessions were researched. The study results indicated the results of the research were grouped into three categories: decision-based, process-based groups and process- based individual interventions. When counselors measure forgiveness intervention techniques and other emotional health concerns, the results of the studies revealed that counselors using the decision based interventions found no significant effectiveness on forgiveness.…