difficult conversation
Book Summary: Difficult Conversations – How to Discuss What Matters Most –
Written by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen
I decided to profile this book because it is packed with relevant information on handling Difficult
Conversations. Difficult Conversations happen in all areas of life – think about your relationships and work. This book is very relevant if you are responsible for other people. I recommend highly you read it if you are a leader and/or a manager of any group. What makes these conversations so hard to face is the fear of the consequences – whether we raise the issue or try to avoid it. These conversations are almost never about getting the facts right. They are about conflicting perceptions, interpretations, and values. They are not about what is true; they are about what is important.
Why is this important to me?
Whether you are dealing with an underperforming employee, negotiating with a client or disagreeing with your spouse, we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day.
The book is relevant in understanding why we avoid these conversations and give us insight into how to handle them correctly. Especially for the organizational leaders listening to this summary, the following is true: The ability to handle difficult conversations well is a prerequisite to organizational change and adaptation. Companies that nurture these communications skills as core competence for leaders will leave their competition in the dust.
Each difficult Conversation is actually three conversations: 1. The “What Happened?” Conversation –
Most difficult conversations are about disagreements to what happened, who’s right, who said what, who did what and who is to blame. We often fail to question one crucial assumption upon which our whole stance in the conversation is built: I am right, you are wrong. This simple assumption causes endless grief.
2) The Feelings Conversation – Every difficult conversation involves feelings. Are my
Written by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen
I decided to profile this book because it is packed with relevant information on handling Difficult
Conversations. Difficult Conversations happen in all areas of life – think about your relationships and work. This book is very relevant if you are responsible for other people. I recommend highly you read it if you are a leader and/or a manager of any group. What makes these conversations so hard to face is the fear of the consequences – whether we raise the issue or try to avoid it. These conversations are almost never about getting the facts right. They are about conflicting perceptions, interpretations, and values. They are not about what is true; they are about what is important.
Why is this important to me?
Whether you are dealing with an underperforming employee, negotiating with a client or disagreeing with your spouse, we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day.
The book is relevant in understanding why we avoid these conversations and give us insight into how to handle them correctly. Especially for the organizational leaders listening to this summary, the following is true: The ability to handle difficult conversations well is a prerequisite to organizational change and adaptation. Companies that nurture these communications skills as core competence for leaders will leave their competition in the dust.
Each difficult Conversation is actually three conversations: 1. The “What Happened?” Conversation –
Most difficult conversations are about disagreements to what happened, who’s right, who said what, who did what and who is to blame. We often fail to question one crucial assumption upon which our whole stance in the conversation is built: I am right, you are wrong. This simple assumption causes endless grief.
2) The Feelings Conversation – Every difficult conversation involves feelings. Are my