Crucible Model Essay Rem.

Topic 1:
Martin Luther King, Jr. said “If you haven’t found something worth dying for, you are not fit to be living.” King’s words directly address the dilemma faced by John Proctor in The Crucible and others throughout history, famous and ordinary. While not every principle reaches the level of dying to protect, the principles of truth, justice, and human dignity are worth dying to maintain.
In The Crucible, John Proctor must decide the value of truth and justice. At first he hesitates to expose Abigail because it would mean admitting his adultery. However, once Elizabeth is accused of witchcraft, he knows that he must risk his reputation to protect his innocent wife. He sacrifices his own reputation and ends up accused of witchcraft when he challenges the court. In the final act he is willing to sign a confession to a lie because he does not believe he is fit to die with the righteous likes of Rebecca Nurse. However, when his confession is not good enough without naming others and having his name publicly exposed, he recants the confession and dies with the others. He finally feels like he is dying for a principle of truth. Truth is vital for justice to prevail, and some must suffer to demonstrate the injustice of lies.
Truth and justice are important to a good society, but more important is human dignity. Everyday American soldiers defend the rights and lives of those less able to defend themselves all over the world. While some may contend that it is not our responsibility to protect or defend the world, we cannot simply spout human rights and democratic ideals. We must be willing to help those who are oppressed achieve a measure of independence. We may not succeed in places like Iraq or Afghanistan, but the soldiers who defend others less able to defend themselves defend the true ideals on which this country was founded. We must provide our support in many ways including humanitarian aid, education, and military intervention.
For over two centuries, we have seen democratic principles of truth, justice, and the inalienable rights of personhood as something worth fighting for. Those who risk all for these principles, whether known or unknown, further the betterment of the world for all.

Topic 2: When faith and government mix, blood will surely follow. Theocracy in history brought bloodshed, so there is no reason to think it would world in a diverse, interconnected nation today bloodlessly. Arthur Miller’s The Crucible depicts a moment in history when theocracy ruled parts of the colonies. God’s law was the only law. When Danforth declares that anyone who does not stand with the court is against the court and by extension God, he demonstrates the pivotal flaw in theocratic rule. When law is based on religious interpretation of those in power, the ability to oppose or even question the government disappears. The abuse of power that follows ends in bloodshed. Those accused in Salem have no recourse when the evidence is those of hysterical girls who claim they are being tortured by the accused. Truly good individuals like Rebecca Nurse and Elizabeth Proctor are at the mercy of a group of girls motivated by fear of their own punishment, influence, or vengeance. Logic is gone and all that is left is the rule of religious law. While the play depicts a historical time and actual historical figures, it does not fully expose the dangers of theocracy. The history of England demonstrates how changing religious rules creates a --- of religious infighting and revenge that covers generations. When Henry VIII breaks away from the Roman Catholic Church, he starts religious civil war that continues for several reigns. His daughters Mary and Elizabeth represent the conflict between Catholics and Protestants in England. When Mary takes the throne after her brother’s death, she seeks to reestablish Catholicism as the countries religion with such ferocity that she is nicknamed “Bloody Mary” for her persecution of Protestants. When she is dethroned and replaced by Elizabeth, the new queen reestablishes the Anglican Church’s supremacy and sparks renewed vengeance against Catholic persecutors under Mary. The resounding problem of theocracy is its single-mindedness. One god, one rule, one way of thinking created persecution, imprisonment, death, and self-perpetuating cycles of vengeance throughout history. In a global society that needs to accommodate diverse ways of thinking and believing, theocracy creates too much turmoil.
Re-Assessment for The Crucible Essay Exam
Key Problems:
1. My instructions required development to support position from the play and either history or current events.
2. Vague, non-specific details and commentary; inaccurate suport
3. Vague claim. No claim. Essay contradicts claim.
4. Misrepresented play content.

General Issues:
Careless capitalization errors (“i” “crucible”)
Avoid using 2nd person (you) in essays
Avoid contractions in formal writing
Single paragraph essays
Sentence sense/syntax (confusing wording or structure)

Part 1:
1. Examine model essay for your topic. Annotate the following (highlight & add comments)
a. Hook
b. Claim
c. Topic sentence for each body paragraph
d. Identify concrete details

Part 2:
1. Did you use a hook to open your essay? If yes, was it effective? If no, what hook could you add?
a. Original:
b. Revised:
2. What was your claim?
a. Original:
b. Revised:
3. Provide the missing development section if you did not provide both.
4. What do you need to focus on from the general issues list? Why does this detract from your writing? Provide two examples of corrected items.