Challenges of Remarriage After Divorce
Abstract
Although there are many aspects of consideration prior to any marriage, there are some unique challenges that present themselves in remarriages after divorce. This paper will explore those challenges and their affects on the marriage. The scope of this paper will not go into depth on solutions to these problematic areas, but rather serve as an alarm to bring awareness to issues that may adversely affect the relationship of a newly remarried couple.
There is a considerable amount of information available on preparing for marriage. The question is, does that same material apply to remarriage after a divorce? Conventional thinking on this issue assumes that remarriage is no different than the first marriage. This common belief is referred to as the “nuclear family myth” (Gurman, 2008). Conventional thinking is wrong where remarriage is concerned. “Remarriage is not merely a short-term single event, but a complex set of changing conditions escalating from pre-divorce tensions, through separation and reorganization of households and parent-child relationships, to remarriage and stepfamily integration” (Greef and Du Toit, 2009). Although many of the topics such as marriage roles and expectations, communication, family of origin, sexual relationship, personality differences, spiritual beliefs and financial management (Nichols, 2010) covered in typical premarital books do apply to any marriage, there are some unique challenges that come with remarriage after divorce. These challenges include blending families, dealing with past marital wounds and the churches view on divorce and remarriage. With the failure rate of second marriages at sixty percent (Gurman, 2008), addressing these added concerns along with other typical premarital issues can help increase the odds that the marriage will survive. The task of blending families is first on the list of unique challenges. Blending families is nothing new. Stepfamilies have been
Although there are many aspects of consideration prior to any marriage, there are some unique challenges that present themselves in remarriages after divorce. This paper will explore those challenges and their affects on the marriage. The scope of this paper will not go into depth on solutions to these problematic areas, but rather serve as an alarm to bring awareness to issues that may adversely affect the relationship of a newly remarried couple.
There is a considerable amount of information available on preparing for marriage. The question is, does that same material apply to remarriage after a divorce? Conventional thinking on this issue assumes that remarriage is no different than the first marriage. This common belief is referred to as the “nuclear family myth” (Gurman, 2008). Conventional thinking is wrong where remarriage is concerned. “Remarriage is not merely a short-term single event, but a complex set of changing conditions escalating from pre-divorce tensions, through separation and reorganization of households and parent-child relationships, to remarriage and stepfamily integration” (Greef and Du Toit, 2009). Although many of the topics such as marriage roles and expectations, communication, family of origin, sexual relationship, personality differences, spiritual beliefs and financial management (Nichols, 2010) covered in typical premarital books do apply to any marriage, there are some unique challenges that come with remarriage after divorce. These challenges include blending families, dealing with past marital wounds and the churches view on divorce and remarriage. With the failure rate of second marriages at sixty percent (Gurman, 2008), addressing these added concerns along with other typical premarital issues can help increase the odds that the marriage will survive. The task of blending families is first on the list of unique challenges. Blending families is nothing new. Stepfamilies have been