Can Divorce be Beneficial for Children
Can Divorce be Beneficial for Children?
Jennifer Cersey
DeVry University
Can Divorce be Beneficial for Children? I stared into his uncontrolled, demonic eyes just inches from mine as I watched his body tremble and quake with wrath. It was an unbridled anger I had encountered many times before. I listened as the sharp words escaped his mouth, piercing me like daggers. Not knowing if any hasty movement would have dire repercussions, I stood frozen, heart racing, undecided of my next move. Helplessness filled my soul. I’d felt stuck for nearly 15 years now, married to this ticking time-bomb of a man, walking on eggshells daily, never knowing what was going to send him into a fit of rage. Why did I continue to stay? For the children. I had always been told that divorce was bad for children. I was afraid I would make a decision that would negatively affect them for the rest of their lives. But, in this moment I realized the abusive situation we all were living in was far worse than the possible negative effects of divorce. We had to find a way out.
This scenario, drawn from my own personal experience, is not as uncommon as one might think. People continue on in toxic or abusive marriages with the misconception that staying married will be best for their children. From my perspective as a single mother of 3 children who was in an emotionally abusive marriage, I have personally witnessed the positive effects that divorce can have on children. Especially, when there are cases of abuse both physical and emotional, or extreme contention within the home, divorce can have a positive effect on the children involved. While I am only a witness to my own personal experience there has been significant research done on the topic of divorce and the effects, both positive and negative, it has on children. I will draw on the expertise of Jolivet (2011), Clark (2013), Amato (2010), Coleman, Glenn (2010) as well as others, and their
Jennifer Cersey
DeVry University
Can Divorce be Beneficial for Children? I stared into his uncontrolled, demonic eyes just inches from mine as I watched his body tremble and quake with wrath. It was an unbridled anger I had encountered many times before. I listened as the sharp words escaped his mouth, piercing me like daggers. Not knowing if any hasty movement would have dire repercussions, I stood frozen, heart racing, undecided of my next move. Helplessness filled my soul. I’d felt stuck for nearly 15 years now, married to this ticking time-bomb of a man, walking on eggshells daily, never knowing what was going to send him into a fit of rage. Why did I continue to stay? For the children. I had always been told that divorce was bad for children. I was afraid I would make a decision that would negatively affect them for the rest of their lives. But, in this moment I realized the abusive situation we all were living in was far worse than the possible negative effects of divorce. We had to find a way out.
This scenario, drawn from my own personal experience, is not as uncommon as one might think. People continue on in toxic or abusive marriages with the misconception that staying married will be best for their children. From my perspective as a single mother of 3 children who was in an emotionally abusive marriage, I have personally witnessed the positive effects that divorce can have on children. Especially, when there are cases of abuse both physical and emotional, or extreme contention within the home, divorce can have a positive effect on the children involved. While I am only a witness to my own personal experience there has been significant research done on the topic of divorce and the effects, both positive and negative, it has on children. I will draw on the expertise of Jolivet (2011), Clark (2013), Amato (2010), Coleman, Glenn (2010) as well as others, and their
References: Clark, B. (2013). Supporting the mental health of children and youth of separating parents. Pediatrics & Child Health (1205-7088), 18(7), 373-377. Cohen, P. N. (2014, January 3). Divorce recession drop rebound, with the 2012 rate. Family Inequality. Retrieved June 6, 2014, from http://familyinequality.wordpress.com/2014/01/03/divorce-recession-drop-rebound-with-the-2012-rate/ Coleman, L., & Glenn, F. (2010). The Varied Impact of Couple Relationship Breakdown on Children: Implications for Practice and Policy. Children & Society, 24(3), 238-249. doi:10.1111/j.1099-0860.2009.00289.x Jacob, S.R. (2014, April 21). Family Law Attorney, Divorce Atlanta, Discusses How Divorce Can Benefit Your Kids. Retrieved from http://www.digitaljournal.com/pr/1861336 JOLIVET, K. (2011). The Psychological Impact of Divorce on Children: What is a Family Lawyer to Do? American Journal of Family Law, 25(4), 175-183. Kalil, A. (2011). Divorced Fathers ' Proximity and Children 's Long-Run Outcomes: Evidence From Norwegian Registry Data. Demography, 48(3), 1005-1027. Kim, H. (2011). Consequences of Parental Divorce for Child Development. American Sociological Review, 76(3), 487-511.