COM 200 Interpersonal Communication
Keys to a successful marriage
COM 200 Interpersonal Communication
Professor
November 5, 2012
Becoming an engaged couple is an exciting event in any person’s life. Being engaged means starting a new life together and when you feel more connected to your partner more than ever. Even with all that happiness, newly engaged couples can face problems on the way to the altar. The types of problems are mostly communications issues such as; developing strategies for active, critical, and empathic listening; recognizing how words have the power to create and affect attitudes, behavior, and perception; understanding how perceptions, emotions, and nonverbal expression affect interpersonal relationships; evaluating appropriate levels of self-disclosure …show more content…
The saying “never go to bed angry,” is a great example of managing interpersonal conflict before it boils over into a huge fight. ““Her success consists in the communication of what she wants, feels, thinks, etc., whether her husband is influenced of not. If her husband is unresponsive, she will be tempted to withdraw or to retaliate. This attitude manifests a merged relationship and reveals primitive developmental issues that she now has the opportunity of working to repair,” (Gau, 2011). “In essence, he asserts that the most successful marriages are built on the components of a deep friendship. The components of communication that are most predictive of divorce are (1) the harsh start-up that is starting a conflictual discussion with harsh and accusatory words; (2) the four horseman (criticism contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling); (3) flooding; (4) body language; and (5) repair attempts-attempts made by the couple to reach out to each other and repair the situation,” (Keyt, …show more content…
The strategies that will be listed are taken from Gau (2011). The first strategy for coming to differentiation is learning to use our anxiety instead of it controlling us. Anxiety floods us when we are in conflict and, as a result, we withdraw or retaliate. The second strategy will be to briefly state our experience–to state our feelings and thoughts, our needs and desires, what we can and can’t do, etc. The third strategy will be to self-awareness–awareness of our thoughts, feelings, desires, decisions, in short, of our experience. As long as we speak about ourselves we can speak authoritatively. The fourth strategy, where most marital therapy interventions erroneously begin, is mirroring. This strategy implies that couples have achieved sufficient differentiation so that hostile affect has diminished. Excellent strategies to keep in mind so when who two need help, refer back to the strategies listed and fix the issue before it becomes a
COM 200 Interpersonal Communication
Professor
November 5, 2012
Becoming an engaged couple is an exciting event in any person’s life. Being engaged means starting a new life together and when you feel more connected to your partner more than ever. Even with all that happiness, newly engaged couples can face problems on the way to the altar. The types of problems are mostly communications issues such as; developing strategies for active, critical, and empathic listening; recognizing how words have the power to create and affect attitudes, behavior, and perception; understanding how perceptions, emotions, and nonverbal expression affect interpersonal relationships; evaluating appropriate levels of self-disclosure …show more content…
The saying “never go to bed angry,” is a great example of managing interpersonal conflict before it boils over into a huge fight. ““Her success consists in the communication of what she wants, feels, thinks, etc., whether her husband is influenced of not. If her husband is unresponsive, she will be tempted to withdraw or to retaliate. This attitude manifests a merged relationship and reveals primitive developmental issues that she now has the opportunity of working to repair,” (Gau, 2011). “In essence, he asserts that the most successful marriages are built on the components of a deep friendship. The components of communication that are most predictive of divorce are (1) the harsh start-up that is starting a conflictual discussion with harsh and accusatory words; (2) the four horseman (criticism contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling); (3) flooding; (4) body language; and (5) repair attempts-attempts made by the couple to reach out to each other and repair the situation,” (Keyt, …show more content…
The strategies that will be listed are taken from Gau (2011). The first strategy for coming to differentiation is learning to use our anxiety instead of it controlling us. Anxiety floods us when we are in conflict and, as a result, we withdraw or retaliate. The second strategy will be to briefly state our experience–to state our feelings and thoughts, our needs and desires, what we can and can’t do, etc. The third strategy will be to self-awareness–awareness of our thoughts, feelings, desires, decisions, in short, of our experience. As long as we speak about ourselves we can speak authoritatively. The fourth strategy, where most marital therapy interventions erroneously begin, is mirroring. This strategy implies that couples have achieved sufficient differentiation so that hostile affect has diminished. Excellent strategies to keep in mind so when who two need help, refer back to the strategies listed and fix the issue before it becomes a