An American Childhood
The article “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” by Deborah Tannen discusses the different ways men and women communicate. The selection “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” was taken from Tannen’s book “You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation”. In the selection Tannen, a linguist’s, describes the discrepancies of communication between men and women. Most women cite conversation as a problem in relationships between a man and a woman. The discrepancies start in the stage of childhood. This is the time frame where the habits are first formed, as the child’s development is mainly influenced from their peers. I agree with Tannen’s points on why the problems arise, and can relate all the points to my own personal conversations. Tannen describes one idea as how women use intimacy as the background for friendships, and this is how all of my friendships are based. Two other points, the misalignment in the mechanics of the conversation between a man and women and how women make more listener-noises often all are true on how my conversations are conducted. Both points tend to make me believe that men aren’t listening when I am conversing with them, and this is the response from the discrepancies between a man and woman that Tannen describes. As Tannen states “For women, as for girls, intimacy is the fabric of relationships, and talk is the thread from which it is woven” is exactly how I and most women’s friendships are based off. Conversation for women is a major part of friendship. Women want to know they are able to talk to their husbands just as they would to their best friends. When I am conversing with a guy I want to know everything they are feeling about the topic at the time of the discussion. It makes you feel as though you are connected with the other when you are able to relate your feelings. When I am able to start a conversation with a man and not feel as though I can connect with them it is hard to continue a conversation. Especially when I feel like