Abstinence: Human Sexuality and Sex

Abstinence: To chose or not to choose? Many teenagers just don't understand the responsibilities that go along with being sexually active, they don't even think about them. But maybe they should sit back and think before taking part. People should not be having sex just to have it, but because they are in love. The only time premarital sex may be okay is in the boundaries of a loving, trusting relationship. Other wise you will most likely regret it when you get older. There is so much feeling that goes into being sexually active most teenagers wouldn't even be able to handle the emotional stress that gets added to the relationship after engaging in intercourse. The person's self-esteem is at high risk, how will people feel after the relationship ends? It has been prove that "While many people feel guilty for having sex, or feel hurt and used when a relationship ends after they participated in sex with the other person, abstinence affirms self-esteem." (Affirming self-esteem 1). But then there are the small numbers of people that actually don't regret abstinence. There are ways to show the partner in a relationship that there is a lot of love for them without engaging in sexual intercourse. Instead of sex something's that people chose to do are, go for a walk on the beach, give each other a massage, have a snowball fight, or make dinner together. Touching may be okay as long as you don't exchange body fluids. Sex is only okay within the boundaries of love, and with out love it just isn't worth it. There are so many responsibilities that go along with being sexually active especially when in a relationship. People have to remember that they must remain faithful to the partner; being willing to compromise; standing by the partner, even no matter how difficult it gets which means everyone has to be willing to work things out with one another. The most important is to remember to always no matter what practice safe sex. So many feelings can be hurt if the break up happens after engaging in sex because it is such an intimate experience that people share with the ones they love. (Moe) Many teenagers also think that sex is a way to gain intimacy but "Genital sex is an expression of intimacy, not the means to intimacy. True intimacy springs from verbal and emotional communion" (Fryling 1). Premarital sex may actually hinder intimacy. "Indulging in sexual intercourse prematurely short circuits the emotional bonding process" (Why Wait For Sex 1-2). 50 Hilton High School students were surveyed and 60% of those surveyed believe that females may use sex to gain love, while males use love to gain sex. It is hard to tell people what "love" is. There really is no definition that can be given to anyone what "love" really is, but you will be able to tell what it is when it finally hits. But love is a glue that tightly bonds two people together to form a trusting, and open relationship. When someone is in love and they see their partner their heart starts to race, and their body feels like Jell-O. Love matures and deepens as the relationship matures. A relationship is built on sex is a very unstable relationship, it should be built on love to make it real. Commitment is the most important thing in a relationship especially when participating in sexual activity. "However when we have sex with another person before marriage, we are cheating on our future spouse, cheating them out of the gift of our virginity that rightfully alone belongs to that person alone" (Cheating 1). That however is a very controversial quote because it may very well be that someone did love the person they lost their virginity to before they got married, but then maybe things just didn't work out. A relationship shouldn't be built on sex while one that is healthy in other aspects can grow and develop on many levels in addition to the sexual level and that's the way a real relationship should be. But beyond and above all if someone should decide to engage in sex they have to make sure to use protection. While there are very many ways people can protect themselves the most convenient are condoms. Although they aren't always guaranteed to protect people. Condoms have a "leakage rate" between 0.9% to 22.8% depending on the type people choose to use. But the risk can be even higher if the condom is used incorrectly. It also helps to use a condom with spermacide that helps kill viruses. There are proven to be many advantages of abstinence such as, more self respect, security that one partner isn't using the other partner for sex, chance to develop more in-depth relationships, less worries regarding pregnancies, and sexually transmitted diseases, and emotional betrayal. But there are people who can't just listen and be satisfied with "Just Say No!". Some religious extremists are so head strung on the idea that sex is a very evil thing actually has taken the life of more then one kid. Sex related suicides occur everywhere, and they happen in extremely religious based societies, like in America. The bible teaches a person that homosexuality is a sin, a long with having sex before or out of marriage. Many others believe that kids should not be put down for being a normal, sexual healthy teen. "We can't keep blowing off religious extremists and the politicians who pander when they are making new laws against teen sex, arresting children for normal sexual experiences, working to deny the children normal sex education, and making attempt after attempt to censor and control what you are allowed to see and read" (All About Sex – Topics for Teens 1). It's not right to punish teens that participate in intercourse for the power of love. (All About Sex – Topics for Teens 1). There is not set right or wrong time when it's okay to engage in sex. People can tell when they're ready. If someone still has concerns or is scared they definitely shouldn't plunge into those types of responsibilities. If even one of the people isn't comfortable enough to discuss sex, and what steps need to be taken to protect one another then they also aren't ready to engage in intercourse. It's a very important topic to discuss with each other before because "every 26 seconds a teenager in the US becomes pregnant, and every hour, 56 children are born to teenagers" (Clock test 1) and no one wants to deal with a problem like an unwanted baby. Then there are the people who engage in intercourse, and regret it immediately. Which is a strong indication that the person wasn't ready and wasn't in love. But there is a hope for those people called "Secondary Virginity". Which is all about someone that has lost his or her virginity, and regrets it. This is so they decide to stop having sex until the time is really right, for some kids this is a good choice. No One should feel that since they have already lost their virginity that it's necessary to sleep with everyone they date, because that isn't acceptable. But there is also an increasing large amount of virgin groups popping uo in high schools all over the country. One group in Washington DC protested at a high school that was handing out condoms because they felt it was promoting the kids to go out and have sex. Kids in certain high schools have been seen wearing shirts that read "I'm a virgin, and I'm proud." Abstinence is becoming a more popular choice among teens but studies have proven that the majority of teens have had sex by the time they graduate from High School. But shouldn't kids be educated about sex in high school? Somehow teens need to learn about sex, and all the things that go along with it. Most people may feel that it's the parents job, but sex is a touchy subject around the house. People have to know how to go about being safe, and also how to tell when they may be ready. But without sex education in the school how will teens know how to deal with sex whether they are faced with it now or in 20 years? One thing that no one should have to deal with is being pressured into participating in sexual activity. Sure, people can come up with a lot of reasons or excuses to maybe trick their partner into having sex with them.. But how meaningful can it be if both people in the relationship don't want it? There are a lot of typical lines that teens will use to trick someone into it, but it's not right to do that. Some of the lines people use are: "If you love me, you would", "I'll leave you if you don't", "You know you want to", and "I won't tell anyone". No one should fall for these lame excuses, because it's everyone's own choice to decide for themselves, and if someone pressures their partner when they know they don't want to, it's obvious they are the ones that don't love their partners. Basically many people feel that premarital sec is a terrible, terrible thing, but then there are the few that believe that it's okay sometimes. No one should do it just because they feel like it or they want to. It should only take part in a stable, strong relationship that has progressed to that point, because once you do it there's no going back. It's nothing that anyone should take lightly because your life can change before you know it.