A Mother's Death: A Short Story
The dentist said, “I had to. You yelled so loud you scared away two other patients.”
109. One little boy said to another little boy, “Why don’t you come to my church?”
The other little boy said, “Because I belong to another abomination.”
110. You know the famous picture of Whistler’s mother. She is sitting in a rocking chair. Once Whistler saw his mother, down on her hands and knees, scrubbing the floor. What did Whistler say to his mother when he saw her scrubbing the floor?
Answer: “Hey, Mom, you’re off your rocker.”
111. Q. Did you hear about the 95 year old man who has AIDS? A. One in each year –hearing aids.
112. Teacher: What does unaware mean? Student: It’s the last thing you take off at night and the first thing you …show more content…
Doctor: “Don’t worry. You are going to make a complete recovery.”
Patient: “But, how can you be so sure, doctor? I thought this was a very serious disease with a petty poor outlook.”
Doctor: “It is. The textbooks say nine out of ten patients with your condition die.”
Patient: “Well then, how can you be so optimistic in my case?”
Doctor: “Just a matter of statistics. You are the tenth case I’ve treated, and the other nine are already dead.”
122. A man had been a loafer all his life. His wife was always trying to get him to help with jobs around the house, but he always refused. His wife did all the work. When he died she had his body cremated and she put the ashes in an hour glass. She put the hour glass on the mantle above the fireplace. Underneath she printed a sign. What did It say? AT WORK AT LAST
123. The guest speaker said, “I know this great joke about amnesia. If only could remember the punch line.”
124. Customer: “How much are these tomatoes?” Clerk: “One dollar a pound.” Customer: “Did you raise them yourself?” Clerk: “I certainly did. They were only fifty cents a pound
109. One little boy said to another little boy, “Why don’t you come to my church?”
The other little boy said, “Because I belong to another abomination.”
110. You know the famous picture of Whistler’s mother. She is sitting in a rocking chair. Once Whistler saw his mother, down on her hands and knees, scrubbing the floor. What did Whistler say to his mother when he saw her scrubbing the floor?
Answer: “Hey, Mom, you’re off your rocker.”
111. Q. Did you hear about the 95 year old man who has AIDS? A. One in each year –hearing aids.
112. Teacher: What does unaware mean? Student: It’s the last thing you take off at night and the first thing you …show more content…
Doctor: “Don’t worry. You are going to make a complete recovery.”
Patient: “But, how can you be so sure, doctor? I thought this was a very serious disease with a petty poor outlook.”
Doctor: “It is. The textbooks say nine out of ten patients with your condition die.”
Patient: “Well then, how can you be so optimistic in my case?”
Doctor: “Just a matter of statistics. You are the tenth case I’ve treated, and the other nine are already dead.”
122. A man had been a loafer all his life. His wife was always trying to get him to help with jobs around the house, but he always refused. His wife did all the work. When he died she had his body cremated and she put the ashes in an hour glass. She put the hour glass on the mantle above the fireplace. Underneath she printed a sign. What did It say? AT WORK AT LAST
123. The guest speaker said, “I know this great joke about amnesia. If only could remember the punch line.”
124. Customer: “How much are these tomatoes?” Clerk: “One dollar a pound.” Customer: “Did you raise them yourself?” Clerk: “I certainly did. They were only fifty cents a pound